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Open Poetry #12
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watching sins grow wild
| Open Poetry #12 |
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watching sins grow wild |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida 
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(i'm quite at a loss for a title actually..but didnt want to call it "untitled"..any suggestions?) ( thanks for the title help! i think i'm gonna go with this "watching sins grow wild"  )playing with the devil watching sins grow wild dare him to take your hand for a little while he'll whisper in your ear while he fiendishly steals your soul he'll snatch your heart away just to leave you cold with the blood of a stolen soul dripping slowly from his quill i've watched him sit in laughter while he scribbles the heart to still i am his darkwinged angel dressed in demon black once you find me in your dreams there is no turning back smell me on your skin taste me on your hand i'll be there where he left me you cant go home again... -dgvarner 1-10-01 < !signature--> "oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..." cat stevens [This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 01-11-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 dgvarner - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Dg~ wow.........very cool, loved the imagery with this dark poem........as for a title.......I kinda like " His darkwinged angel".........but that's just me.  -SEA |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
good writing, dg....how about Devilplay? |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
DG~ I read it, cause it's YOU ! Good write. I'd suggest - 'i've watched him sit in laughter' That would intrigue me, (as it did). ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
first of all... this is a powerful piece of poetry.... it is well written, well phrased, has excellent imagery and a sense of emotion that pulls the reader in and immerses the reader in the author's feelings... VERY well done!! as far as a title... how about this - "playing with the devil 'til you can't go home again" just an idea....  thanks for a great read! |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
SEA..thanks thats some scary imagery aye..LOL i thought of 'darkwinged angel' too....maybe.. thanks for the suggestion!thanks BALLADEER ..'devilplay'...hmm..that may work..its nearer to what the poem is about... will think on that..MARGE..you would not have read it with that title aye..  but because it was me... thanks marge..thats too sweet i thought on your title suggestion also, before i posted..just seemed a long title..but will keep that one in mind.. DOREEN..really glad you enjoyed this!  thanks so much for all that good stuff you said! i was thinking of a shorter version of your title suggestion..'playing with the devil'...? *sigh*... alas..i'm still uncertain..but will keep all your title suggestions in mind thanks a bunch! hugs, g [This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 01-11-2001).] |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
LOVE the title change, it fits very nice, I like it very much! -SEA |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
so who would want to go home after that... Nice write dg.... lucky devil loving guy.. Parker |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
thanks SEA decided, just after i wrote that i was still uncertain about it! lolPARKER..thats right, love..just submit... dont kick and scream and fight..it just makes you too tired for other things...  hugs, g |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
well I don't have a title but I am getting chills from reading! "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart Kathleen |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
LOL...thanks for the chills IRISH.. glad you enjoyed!btw..i've decided to keep this title i think..unless....someone comes up with a better one!  hugs,g |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
WOW, I don't have any suggestions for a title, but I loved reading this...Dark, Chilly, Scary, ...But oh so good... ~LL~ The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Loved this...that would have been my choice for a title too. So, Great Title Choice! jwesley |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh WOW!!! liked this dark one...great read Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Pixydust Junior Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 36 |
hey girl... i actually like the title. nice to finally be a part of the click...heheeee thanks for getting me on this site. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
LL..lol..scary huh... thanks a bunch for reading glad you enjoyed! JWESLEY..thanks! (and..great minds think alike..aye? )thanks TRACIE! glad you stopped in PIXY..ha! havent read these from me have you.. lol glad you enjoyed... and glad you joined us here.. hugs, g "oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..." cat stevens |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh, very dark, and fascinatingly written. Great poem! Sandra |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
thanks SANDRA maybe i should have posted this one in dark passions...lol hugs, g |
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