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Open Poetry #12
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Life behind bars (an inmate's lament)
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Life behind bars (an inmate's lament) |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Man what can I say about this piece...I guess I was influenced by prison documentaries or either hip-hop music or whatever.....I don't know if the moderators will accept this piece cause it has a little bit of explicit material on here....anyways, I hope y'll like the poem! This piece, is for all you people who's free, working, and making your money legally, and this is also for the ones who's illegal, and isn't where I am, in the bad life sequel cause, they haven't been caught by the right people. as, I wanna send a message to you so, y'll won't end up like me because, of the evil that men do. Anyways, life sucks in here and it's a nightmare, knowing I'll spend the rest of life here but, I deserve it cause, I've been convicted, for hundreds of crimes known in the equator as I'm a heartless soul, who'll urinate in your elevator. Anyways, like I said, life sucks behind bars cause, there's no women and no cars, no summertime cookouts in the backyard, as prison is like that T.V. show "Oz" where the guards like to act hard and pick fights with you every night, and inmates who try to mate you, rape you, and if you refuse, they'll try to take your life, which is why, I keep a stashed knife cause, I love life and I'm not ready to see my last night. Anyways, I feel very lonely and sad, as I 've ignored by mom and dad, all my sisters and brothers, and even my lover, who's now going with my so-called best friend, as she sent a letter last week and confirmed it, as I was so upset that, I just burned it. Anyways, whenever I feel my sexual fires ablaze, I like to grab my stashed penthouse magazine, and have mind sex with the girls of my dreams. Shoot, ain't nothing wrong with that, as I'm just being a man cause, I ain't so desperate to have it (administrative edit) as I 'm beginning to wish, that I wasn't so devilish, that I was free, and living life legally but, don't y'll feel sorry for me cause, noone forced me to live this life as I'm rightfully paying the price, for a living a crime-infested life as, I hope that y'll get my message and live right because freedom, is a big price, to sacrifice! [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 01-10-2001).] |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Hey Passions, I hope that I didn't offend anybody or frightened you away from posting a reply....I mean I'm eager to see what some people think of it....and once again, I hope I didn't offend anyone...that's not my purpose...my intentions is to send a message so please, I repeat, don't take my words too literally, meaning the character description and how things are in prison cause, I made that all up just for the fun of it and for entertaining pleasures....but I am seroius about the message in the poem though and once again, I'm not trying to offend anyone and if I did, I'm very sorry. (smiles) Peace, Nate Dogg |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes Nate you have described it so well...a life in prison...definately a place I don't want to go...James |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Nate, Your'e describing a different way of life...you need to use the language most condusive to relaying these thoughts, or you've not done the job correctly. It is to make the reader feel, see, breathe what you are saying. Take them to that place, experience it, and return them home. You've done a masterful job. This is really an incredible piece of work. I guess I mean...I like it! |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
breathes a sigh of relief (whew!) Man, I wanna thank the two poets had enough courage to post your opinions....it really means a lot to me cause, I kinda feel like this poem is a little too raw for Passions to digest, that they'll just snub it despite the fact that I've read other poet's poem and posted a reply....oh yeah, thank to the moderator who editted my line....it's shows me that you were reading.....and thanks for keeping the poem on the board. And if any of you got an opinion whether it's good or bad, I wanna know so, that I can get a clearer idea of what Passions want to see from me cause, if you wanna see me at my best(a poem like this) then I'll be glad to do it but, if want me to tone it down, then I will...just let me know what y'll want cause I realize that my style may be too extreme and different for some....like Eminem said, "I don't know, it's just the way I am" (smiles) Peace, Nate Dogg P.S. I confirm everything I said from above cause, it called keeping it real...I ain't gonna give you no bull...I just straight spit the facts, the truth, and my opinion whether some like it or not cause, you can't please everyone plus, this is what being an artist is all about! (smiles) Nathan |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Nate~ powerful poem you have here.......I hope more read this, especially younger kids.......a shot of reality now and then is healthy. (who is Eminem?) Great write  -SEA |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Thank you Sea for your lovely comments, I also hope that more read this too...I would imagine that's lots of people read it but don't wanna cause I've probaly disgusted or offended them in some way...anyways, I've apologized so what more can I do? I just won't stop being me or abandon my style for noone....anyways, Eminem aka slim shady, is the great white hope, the most popular white rapper on the face of this earth....I find it surprising that you haven't heard of him even if you don't listen to rap cause he's plastered all over tv, radio, and those music awards....anyways, thanks for reading and thanks for posting a reply on my board...it means a lot to me....now if those 15 to twenty(and counting) other poets returned the favor....I'll know what they think too.(smiles) Nathan |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Nathan...this is a very powerful imaginative write...what images you provoke...offended? Not me...you just write some black and white images here... |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Nate... I don't usually post here, but I came in here for something different and by gees did I get it... This is a very powerful peice and it proved my point that prison is a horrible place! I hope that things are doing just fine for you and that you are happy again now that you are out of that place... Eminem is a great guy, he sings about life, just the way it is... Good luck and keep up the great work, though I probably won't see it much!! Good Work!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
WOW...what a peice you have penned here Nate...I have a very dear friend who has "been there , done that", and oh, the stories I have heard...You did this wonderfully and BTW I LOVE Eminem...He "Rocks"..hehe.. Don't change a thing about you or your style, you've got it "all", I would say... Hugs... ~LL~< !signature--> The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown [This message has been edited by Lady Lightning (edited 01-13-2001).] |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Man, I couldn't believe my eyes today when I saw that I had more responses. Thank you Paula, I'm very glad that you liked it and wasn't offended. Thank you Melster, ya know, you should visit these forums more, there's and abundance of talent...anyways thanks for your comments and I'm glad to see that you also like Eminem. (smiles) Thank you Lady Lightning, I'm glad that you also like the poem as well as Eminem...and thanks for the compliment about my style...and nope I won't change a thing...I'm going to keep it real, life-like, deep, powerful, emotional, top-notch, different, raw, intriguing, appealing, with no filler lines! If I probaly post too much poems about humanity it's because, it's what I represent, the moral, mental and physical advancement of mankind...I care about all of you and people in general....black, white, purple, yellow..I don't care whta color you are cause, I have love for all! Writing conscious/humanity/deep poetry is obviously what I do best but, I have poems about love, mother nature, holidays, happiness, poems of mystery(ghost fire) and poems of horror (dairy of a madman) and even a political one(Voting for the president) cause, I'm trying to be a well-rounded poet, a diverse poet, and a poem who goes against the grain of what the normality is...in other words, I wanna be different and shake-up the status quo(like Eminem). My poem is a reflection of my life(keeping it real) cause in life, I'm as different as you can get meaning, I don't smoke or drink, got a clean crime record, I don't necessarily wear the hot clothes like all my young peers wear but, I still manage to keep myself looking fly and I'm not for organized religion,..if you asked what my religion is, I'm gonna tell you God cause organized religion divide humans instead of bringing them together! So know y'll probaly understand me a little better and the funny thing about it is I'm an african-american and twenty-one years old(with a bright future ahead of me) and most people would think that people from my race can't be or think like this but they're wrong because I can and so do a lot of black poets and black people in general that I know. Anyways, I think I better go cause I've probaly used up to much space. Peace and one love, Passions! Nathan |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
what more can I say...than powerful words are spoken here, oh yeah I can imagine what you meant, since I have to listen to hiphop when my youngest sing and write a bit of that genre....different way to speak about feelings....but inner feelings are the same, and freedom is all we want. Charisma [This message has been edited by Charisma (edited 01-13-2001).] |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Thank you Charisma for your wonderful comments and you're right about the feelings and freedom being all we want...since I'm influenced by hip-hop, I try to write my rhymes and use the same rhyme patterns the way an emcee does....but even if I didn't have a similar rhymes pattern, my words, substance, and content alone is good enough for the underground rap artists who rhymes about positivity, elevating your mind, and deep and conscious things in general like "love has no color" or something like that...anyways I gotta go so thanks again Charisma and peace!!! Nathan |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
nate..very interesting poem..i like that youre not afraid to be real in the eyes of possible criticism and judgement.. very real poem.. i hope more readers find this one..and read it thru and amen on your comment that "love has no color" good attitude..wish more people wore that one...!hugs, g "a love declared for days to come, is as good as none" -tracy chapman |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Thank you fallen rain, for your nice comments...I'm on my work break right now so I'll eventually read your poem when I get off tonight....oh yeah and about the critcism, some can probaly say that's the poem's kinda vulgar and and has some explicit imagery or whatever....but sometimes the truth, ain't pretty and sometimes we try to avoid the truth especially when it's ugly...anyways, I gotta go and get something to eat cause I'm starving...peace! Nathan |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good message! |
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