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Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-03-23 02:05 AM

2:07AM

I search
your eyes
for mellow answers
to warm questions
somehow frozen within me.
Their silence confuses me
and my gaze
falls
in retreat
(defeat?)
to the floor.

With you tonight,
I can only
define myself as
"once being bold".
With you tonight,
my shyness
is a cancer
that has devoured
my freedom
but at this very moment,
you have the wings
to help me fly.

"HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

1 posted 2001-03-23 02:21 AM

This is great...really wonderful writing Mike

We all have wings...some of us don't know why

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2001-03-23 04:01 AM

With you tonight,
I can only
define myself as
"once being bold".
With you tonight,
my shyness
is a cancer
that has devoured
my freedom
but at this very moment,
you have the wings
to help me fly."

Great late night composition here Mike.........I hope your shyness cancer doesn't keep you from writing!

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

3 posted 2001-03-23 07:35 AM

"My shyness
is a cancer
that has devoured
my freedom"

OH EXCELLENT!!!!!!!

*you do your line breaks so well!*

I applaud!

"When people show you who they are, believe them"

~Maya Angelou~

BloomingRose
Member Elite

since 2000-08-09

Posts 3092
Florida

4 posted 2001-03-23 10:05 AM

I can only
define myself as
"once being bold".
With you tonight,
my shyness
is a cancer
that has devoured
my freedom
but at this very moment,
you have the wings
to help me fly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we have no words to express turmoil within it can be exactly as you have written.
To search for wings to fly like an eagle and rise above all this is not always easy, but can lead to a place of peace. At least within the heart.
Deb

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2001-03-23 02:43 PM

very nice work.....excellent phrasing

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