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ATelamon
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up

0 posted 2001-03-20 12:46 PM

chaffed in burniing blisters
one more step footfalls another

you wonder often on this road to somewhere
no complaint I know where I am bound

and breathe tomorrows air today
as with the road I continue to become

closer more real more myself than I ever imagined
was even there staring at future glowing lifetimes

I see and call out to wanting them to know I am
on my way soon so soon the light will laugh at night

But there is more of this thoughtway to walk and
stumble through my eyes are not diverted just wet

with the tournament of being alive I embrace
yet see so many in the gullies lost by the wayside

still rivulets of knowledge seep thoughtless into me
and I can only start in startled wonder at all this

This road showing reaching leading first steps
countless lifetimes ago or today for it is both

NowForever two words bound not mutually excluded
indeed they are more often the very same here in

this moment I proclaim through senses body real
yet would you recognize the same or mere a solitary

singular intrusion some bizzare memo to self sticky
notes of the mind and soul still one foot follows

and the other copies suit in like minded focus
the song propels the movement as ever did it say

and achieve it from afar as presented the words lead
on onward no matter the slope or brambles found I

one may wonder at the reasons I could not explain
to appreciate is to understand and more to know

as I sing a thousand tunes and compose outloud I
walk this road to the one place I call forever Home

"Be your own hero. Save your interior landscape. As in all mythos the blight can be defeated and the land turned back to freedom and fertility.

[This message has been edited by ATelamon (edited 03-20-2001).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-03-20 09:15 AM

just one step at a time--I liked the mood of this---the solitary pondering coupled with sheer perseverence...nice!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2001-03-20 09:19 AM

ATelamon, you've transported my memory to an area in California called Kettleman Hills, a flat desert, deserted area between mountain ranges...

and I could smell the dry air, and see the yucca plants and saguaros again...

and feel again the vast aloneness...

thank you for the memory....

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

3 posted 2001-03-20 11:09 AM

enjoy your read

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2001-03-20 11:35 AM

ATelamon:

I enjoyed the look at the path you take ..and I think no matter where you wander...all roads lead home.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2001-03-20 01:18 PM

The feel of this is great! The concept unfolds well. There does seem to be some disconcerting line breaks and a few unnecessary words. They are such that I believe you'll find them on your own by successive read-throughs, given the quality of your writing. I think you'll be happy for the deeper look.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-03-20 01:19 PM

p.s.
Mechanics don't make the poem, but they can break its spellbinding quality.

Waseem Cheema
Member

since 2001-03-16

Posts 369
Pakistan

7 posted 2001-03-20 02:27 PM

Really a great poem with a rythm of heart.

I love to nice poetry.

[This message has been edited by Waseem Cheema (edited 03-20-2001).]

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

8 posted 2001-03-20 04:44 PM

WOW AT!! Top shelf writing here.
Absolut-ly! This I will read over and over.

ATelamon
Member

since 2001-02-06

Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up

9 posted 2001-03-20 09:25 PM

Why thank you each and every one.

This piece really arose from me audutioning a guitar player last week. You see any audition for others is an audition for me as Guitarist/Keyboardist/Vocalist and part of each is asking the applicant to plau through a piece he or she has written while yours truly writes the words and melodys on the spot.

Like I said the are auditions for me to. I want the musician to be happy with the melodic styles, words etc I bring.

And more I love nothing better than to roll the tape without the slightest idea what I am going to sing. Love my back up against the musical wall so to speak.

Anyway the title hit me and away we went. And while these are not the words for that. I am not even in osession of that tape, tey care a very similar meaning.

So now you know one way this songwriter works. And yes VAS this was very quick, started with a different title and subject and definitely need some sharpening.

Thought it might be fun to give you an idea of just how some music is created, so left the rawness in this version.

All of whicj is no doubt considerably more than you either wanted or needed to know. I am verbose.

Thanks again and you just heard a vocal jam session.

AT

"Be your own hero. Save your interior landscape. As in all mythos the blight can be defeated and the land turned back to freedom and fertility.

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