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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-03-16 11:40 AM

All Good Things

Entice me please, with your cajole
Fill me up and leave me whole
Grant me laughter, allow me sing,
Abide your words in my ear to ring

Seek my asylum, leave me weak
Fortunate am I in your keep
You leave me loving only you
This only gift is my I do

For I would give you anything
Then gift you great desires
In my voice you hear the ting
And embers flash to fires

Sweep me up with your persuade
Put our love forth on parade
Let all who know give celebration
As we revel in His creations

For he has fashioned you, and I,
To swallow up His world of sigh
That in down deep of feathered nights
We find sweet peace in moon’s pure light

So entice me please, with your cajole
As we would be each other’s shoal

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-03-16 11:52 AM

Very nice, Sunshine!

One line though, I think a different word would make it not seem a forced rhyme...perhaps 'world in sigh' rather than 'world of sigh'

the way the collective you are sighing rather than an inanimate world, just my thought as I read

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

2 posted 2001-03-16 12:36 PM

This is a great recitation of love and support at it's best. A spirit lifter!

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

3 posted 2001-03-16 12:38 PM

Beautiful, beautiful flow. You always manage that so well!

"When people show you who they are, believe them"

~Maya Angelou~

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

4 posted 2001-03-16 01:29 PM

Embers certainly flash to fires, I feel the emotion in your words, I enjoyed reading, thank you

Regards,
Olias.

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

5 posted 2001-03-16 05:50 PM

Very nice sunshine. Very musical meter and i liked the rhyming. Nice thoughts for someone special obviously. You are Moderator Extrordinaire, I bow to you. *S*

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2001-03-16 07:27 PM

Karilea:

"You leave me loving only you
This only gift is my I do"

Very romantic!!!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2001-03-16 08:15 PM

Karilea~

'For he has fashioned you, and I,
To swallow up His world of sigh
That in down deep of feathered nights
We find sweet peace in moon’s pure light'

Oh, how perfectly unrehearsed.
His world of sigh seems created just for moments like this.
Beautifully portrayed emotions, sweet poet.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

8 posted 2001-03-16 10:04 PM

Very beautiful, Karilea! Lovely indeed!!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-03-16 10:10 PM

this is wonderful. . . it's like it flows from you. . . in a tender river of light. . .

excellent. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

10 posted 2001-03-17 10:20 AM

I just love this.......this is how I feel about my Jon

Kerri S
Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 61
Rhode Island

11 posted 2001-03-17 11:39 AM

Very romantic poem. I enjoy reading all your poetry Sunshine

Kerri

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

12 posted 2001-03-19 02:38 PM

I am swallowed whole in your cajole - need I say more?

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

13 posted 2001-03-19 02:52 PM

Oh but to feel this romantic, I loved this part the best:
For he has fashioned you, and I,
To swallow up His world of sigh
That in down deep of feathered nights
We find sweet peace in moon’s pure light,

Just lovely

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

14 posted 2001-03-19 03:14 PM

i am with mysteria on this...oh to feel like this...nice work

...really nice

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