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A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #12 |
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Miov. . . the second moon |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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sitting here on the shore of the great sea I watch the play of the moonlight on the water the subtle shades of indigo and black melding with the crystal to make the color of life off in the distance, I hear the last of the lightings as their final notes yield to the cold melancholy of the starsingers filling my mind with memories and taking my heart on their wings it has been 2 meres since I last heard your voice here that long since I've been back I never really wanted to return without you I wanted us to come back together come back here to where it all began where the alazelles ran wild and free where the wister grew in the fields its scent filling the air like a blessing of the holiest incense sanctifying this place for only you and I we ran and we played we grew and we learned we loved and we lost we were going to be here forever until you said you were leaving to pursue The Life I begged you not to The Life being only for those who would dedicate themselves to it those who would lose themselves to become part of the greater good I did not want that for you I wanted you to become a part of me not a part of The Life but you had made up your mind this is what I must do you said but what about us I said what about me? do you not care? I'm sorry Miov, you said Miov. . . that was your name for me it was an old word, it meant 'the one I love' and that was I. . . I was the one you loved and I was in love with you I did not come to watch you go I could not bear the sight leaving all behind to join The Life leaving me behind how could you? I loved you. . . and now, the second moon rises again just like it did on that night that night where you became me and I became you The Union fulfilled. . . and on that night we named the second moon Miov. . . ------------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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| © Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Wow!  You've been busy, and I love your poetry when you've been busy! Nice to read your words today!  |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Ohhh I like this, it works on so many levels, a piece of writing within its own right but could also be part of something greater, it reminds me very much of some of the short stories by Asimov and Clark. I enjoyed it very much and hope to read more. Thank you. Regards, Olias. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Ok, I'm impressed, Sven, this is free verse begging to be free, it's fine verse, please offer more in the future, it is a story and poetry IS a story. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Nicely written, Sven. A captivating story for sure. Well done Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Enjoyed this!!! Congrats on the big 7000!! |
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Just A Woman Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507 |
To visit the past to heal, to perhaps say goodbye. This was beautiful. Gentle and deep, reflective and heartfelt. After years of searching, I have found I am nothing more, nothing less...I am in truth Just A Woman after all. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"we ran and we played we grew and we learned we loved and we lost we were going to be here forever until you said you were leaving" forever is a hard thing to hold onto, isn't it? ... this, my friend, is lovely.... poignant... perfectly phrased.... i love it....  |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
I believe this is the most romantic piece I have read! And I think you may be near the 'white' here. Perhaps still with questions, but nonetheless...near. I love this and perhaps I, too, will travel soon. When I do, I will have this poem in my pocket. Thank you. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Simply fantastic...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A beauteous write....a lovely story....a thrilling way to post 7000! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
melding with the crystal to make the color of life your words were beautiful, Sven ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Absoulutely amazing! The last stanza really made me smile solemnly. This was such an emotional piece... it gave me goosebumps!  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
Sven.........so sad I did not come to watch you go..... ....................smooches.... helen |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Temptress, indeed I have been busy. . . going like a wind!! thank you. . . Olias, thank you. . . that's indeed where I was going with this one. . . I've been re-reading Dune, and the phrase "the second moon" just stuck in my head. . . this is the result. . . Kathleen, you know that I'll be sure to offer more of this in the future. . . thank you my friend. . . LW, thank you. . . glad that you enjoyed. . . and yes, it's a neat story isn't it??? deVine, thank you my friend!!! Just A Woman, thank you. . . sometimes, we have to say goodbye to the past to say hello to the future. . . doreen, yes. . .forever is a hard thing to hold on to, but that doesn't stop us from trying does it?? thank you my friend. . . I'm glad that you enjoyed. . . JLR, that you would use my words to keep with you is an honor that I am indeed humbled by. . . I'll send you the directions if I see the "white". . . thank you. . . James, thank you my friend. . . Sunshine, I'm glad that you liked it. . . something a little different. . . but yet, the same. . . Wynter, thank you. . . I'm honored. . . Allan, wow. . . goosebumps??? thank you!!! helen, thank you. . . but not that sad. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh my, this is an amazing story. Beautifully told, and how sad. I'm sorry if you have had to live this. Luv S |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I really like this one Sven....I can imagine the scenes that you are expressing in the virtuality of your words.......so very moonlight lonely...... "sitting here on the shore of the great sea I watch the play of the moonlight on the water the subtle shades of indigo and black melding with the crystal to make the color of life" A great introduction! "come back here to where it all began where the alazelles ran wild and free where the wister grew in the fields its scent filling the air like a blessing of the holiest incense sanctifying this place for only you and I" now that's beautiful poetry! "and now, the second moon rises again just like it did on that night that night where you became me and I became you The Union fulfilled. . . and on that night we named the second moon Miov. . ." And what a fabulous ending! Keep up the good work my friend. This one is one of my favourites of yours if not the best! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ethome said it---it was the loneliness that was so prevalant in this piece...guess it's why it's spoke so deeply to ME...sigh..  lovely work here sven |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Sven, I was so captivated in reading your poem and once again your talent as writer shines brilliantly... ~coco~ Pssst.... I almost forgot congrats on 7000th sweetie [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 03-15-2001).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent!! Had to come back for more. |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
awwwww this is nice Don't ever give in, if you do you've lost everything you've ever had and everything you hope to gain, but if you carry on your already winning. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Sandra, no, I haven't had to live this. . . but I'm sure that there are those that have. . . thank you. . . ethome, thank you my friend. . . I am so glad that you liked this one. . . I really tried to make it good. . . serenity, I guess it's just been me lately. . . it's kind of creeping in you know?? Thank you my friend. . . poetfriend Coco, thank you so much. . . I am glad that you enjoyed. . . deVine, just couldn't stay away could you?? LOL Moon Dust, thank you!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Letters in the Sand on the shore of destiny this is lovely Sven...Greeneyes~ *** "Within you I lose myself Without you I find myself Wanting to be lost again." -Unknown |
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Katherine Chandler Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280Florida, USA |
I so moved by this poem I began to cry, it all seemed so real to me, sad and yet happy. A poignant read, Sven, you are so very creative in your story-telling. I loved this so very much. KateGenuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. T S Eliot |
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