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Open Poetry #12
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Pangs of Impatience
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Pangs of Impatience |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets 
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This one goes out to Ryan. It comes in all sort of flavors, Red, white, yellow and green. And it never makes more sense than a practical prank. You've seen it everyday as it pounds away in frustration at the network of invisible chains crisscrossing the local parks and all-night Perkins. Did you hear it when it roared through your amazingly thick hair and on into the forest where rabid deer and lackadaisical squirrels fall from tree to tree to tree? It's unimaginable how unselfishly crazy it must have been for it to peek around the corner of Iowa and notice that we don't really exist anymore. We're just sliding, sliding, sliding intriguingly through a matrix (edit) and incredibly high-sugar levels. Did you feel those pangs of impatience as they tore through your toes and up through your nostrils? I know I sure did, and it certainly wasn't no hunger pains that I was feeling then. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Philip Zemler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I'm lost on this one, but I guess I would be seeing as it was meant for a certain person. Thought I'd give it a boost.  |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Masked Intruder encourages Constructive Critiques eh? Well, ummm, I don't want to start what happened last time I "constructively critiqued" one of your poems. You [edited by Moderator]. *grins* Hehehehe. Well, I like this. I think I liked the director's cut better that you showed me. Original and uncut. Hehe. The ending could be a bit stronger. So there's my constructive critique. I'm warming up for another foray into CA. Haven't been there for a while. Maybe they remember me. Maybe. And watch out for those [edited by Moderator] impatience pangs. They get you when you just ain't looking for them. Ryan (am i a trouble maker or what? lol). "ah, little girls make shadows on the sidewalk shorter than the shadow of death in this town--" - Jack Kerouac [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 03-16-2001).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"[edited by Moderator]?" ROFL..? OW...  this um, slipped by me...  must have been the oleo....omigod... am I naughty? no, I just write that way... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 03-16-2001).] |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
[Edited by Moderator] Please note, if the gist of the replies continue on in the manner that have now been deleted, this entire post will be out. Thank you. [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 03-16-2001).] |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Hey, that's not what I said. Bad mucking response time. *grins* |
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