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Open Poetry #12
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Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597


0 posted 2001-03-16 02:03 AM


allofus, everyone


allofus, everyone
having so much fun
we up the speed
we feed the greed
we must stay on the trip

allofus, everyone
having so much fun
we pay no heed
we save no seed
we could not give a rip

allofus, everyone
having so much fun
we'd do good deed?
we'd have to bleed
we'd lose a gambling chip

allofus, everyone
having so much fun
we overfeed
we have no need
we waddle about so flip

allofus, everyone
having so much fun
we overbreed
we don't succeed
we go down with the ship


krawdad 2.15.01


[This message has been edited by Krawdad (edited 03-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2001-03-16 02:06 AM


Wow! An extremely profound piece. Which poem from Mistleto Angel is this a reply to? I must go read it.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-03-16 02:18 AM


do I qualify as "anyone?"

if so, I must say, the saving of the seed depends upon the quality--

But I must say? I am feeling SO loved here--
the inclusion is almost claustophobic!

oh? and yer poem...is quite nice...

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-03-16 02:40 AM


Wonderful write...provocative and powerful! Which work of Noah's are you refering to?

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

4 posted 2001-03-16 07:10 AM


You've captured it with the ending. I loved it! I enjoyed this one. Especially the lines "We overbreed" "We overfeed". Shall save to contemplate some more. Thank you, Krawdad, for sharing this.

After years of searching, I have found I am nothing more, nothing less...I am in truth Just A Woman after all.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2001-03-16 10:33 AM


Having finally stepped out of the slow zone...finding Noah's poem that surely must be the one to which you were referring, having come back here and seeing that right out there in the title/subject area, you say the name of the poem. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, I guess I really should use it more often for something other than arguing my own thoughts and rebuttals.
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

6 posted 2001-03-16 01:41 PM


VAS
Your mind is working just fine, Virginia. When I posted this, the name of the poem was not there. I edited it in, but I think you saw it before I got that done. Sorry, my fault.

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