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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-03-08 06:22 AM


If I could only be that way?
I'd wear a lacy bit of dress-
and curl my lashes, blush my cheeks,
and leave lip-prints on handkerchief...

I'd dust the shadows of the moon
and make my eyes look wide
and you could see each part of me
except the part I've hid inside...

I'd learn to giggle--pull away
my hand from yours in eager'd roam.
An art of jiggle--walk away
with toss of hair, and pouting moan.

I could play most eagerly
if that is all you want from me.
But oh I've so much more to say--
listen, love--to dawn of day.

Eager, I, to thoughts of mime--
I count the motions, pantomine.
Forgetting now the dance sublime,
I search for clues within your eyes.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-03-08 07:17 AM


ahhh we have much too much to give than just a sway of hips or a taunt from lips...

I liked this one very much *s...

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-03-08 08:24 AM


I say just be yourself, if that ain't good enough...poop on 'em!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

3 posted 2001-03-08 08:44 AM


*grinning* I'll have to place my vote with Kathleen!
Excellent write, Serenity!

To hold tomorrow we must first be willing to let go of yesterday.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-03-08 01:55 PM


and curl my lashes, blush my cheeks,
and leave lip-prints on handkerchief...

I'd dust the shadows of the moon
and make my eyes look wide
and you could see each part of me
except the part I've hid inside...

my hand from yours in eager'd roam.

with toss of hair, and pouting moan.

I could play most eagerly
if that is all you want from me.
But oh I've so much more to say--
listen, love--to dawn of day.

Eager, I, to thoughts of mime--
I count the motions, pantomine.
Forgetting now the dance sublime,
I search for clues within your eyes.
==================


I'll tell you now
what you already know
you shouldnt have to change for love ...
no need to put on a pretty light show

love should be accepting
love should be a breath of kind
If its not ... dont change you ...
instead me thinks ya need to change your mind.

*sigh* yeah, yeah ... I know baby...
it sounds REAL simple and easy when its in rhymes ...

ya know I love this one...
very cool ryhme and imagery.
and the expressions are pure sen ...
and that equals pure poetry.

"But oh I've so much more to say--
listen, love--to dawn of day."

indeed me twin ... indeed
hugs me sweet
me



Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2001-03-08 03:26 PM


Wonderful poem, serenity... and I love the title! *S*
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2001-03-08 03:29 PM


It is frustrating when we have so much to offer and the other seems blind to who we are...James
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2001-03-09 12:23 PM


Some people just cant see whats right in front of them...til its too late...this is an excellent write girlie
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 2001-03-09 12:34 PM


I've often wished to be this same woman. But then, I can't keep my thoughts to myself.. and can't stand men who LIKE this kind of trophy on their arm..so? I'm me. Alone, but me.
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
9 posted 2001-03-10 02:18 AM


So I'm sittin here trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with a "" constructive critique request. LOL

I'll be honest with you, miss perfect you just described might be fun to play around with for a few days, but I imagine I'd get bored with her and go in search of something a little more intelligent, y'know...

*grins*
Lovely lovely write

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