The Morning of This Day - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #12

The Morning of This Day

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-02-24 11:27 AM

The Morning of This Day
Virginia Salter

the morning of this day
has me in its grip
by the neck!

brilliant sunshine soars
casting shadows in vibrant contrast
to sunlit streams between
the obstacles that surround me
attempting to block its nurture
its stimulus

perhaps a walk
yes, a walk in the sunlight
soaking up the glow
a warming love to show
my body and my brain
the lovely light’s refrain

so on the verge of tears
as I sit in shadows
of stress and toil
like over-wintered soil
awaiting voice of spring
to help it soon to sing

of lilies, lilacs, daffodils,
vitamins that cure ills
brought on by winter’s iciness
and lack of Sol’s sweet caress

© February 24, 2001

I really kind of think I didn't end this poem, more like I just stopped. Honest critique would be appreciated regarding this.

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

1 posted 2001-02-24 12:03 PM

Virginia~the imagery in this is nicely done...I could see it throughout the poem. I'm not a great critic, but if I can think of something to help with the last few lines I'll be back.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

2 posted 2001-02-24 12:06 PM

Virginia, it is most beautiful, such a wonderful feel all through. I love it, I truly do
Take care love
Mushy

Take back the hope you gave,- I claim
Only a memory of the same
Robert Browning

Celeste
Senior Member

since 2000-11-11

Posts 597

3 posted 2001-02-24 01:18 PM

We both had thoughts of the morn today.

I'll think about your question on the ending of this! Nobody paints a morning like you do VAS!

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Socrates

Nate Dogg
Senior Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

4 posted 2001-02-24 01:39 PM

I see what you mean, I also feel like you could have kept going so either you can continue writing on this or leave this....either way, it'll be just fine....brilliant work!

Nathan

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.