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Children of War
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Children of War |
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Lisann Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350 |
This is a very long poem that I wrote one night when I wasn't able to sleep----due to nightmares. Once you read the poem I'm sure you'll understand why. CHILDREN OF WAR I've never been a soldier But I know what war is like. Having survived a childhood Besieged by enemies More dangerous and decietful than those armies Faced with guns. MY FOES WERE ALCOHOLISM AND ABUSE And I was unarmed. I never got Just the one year tour of duty, In some battle torn country. I was there for the duration of 10 years. Just like a soldier who has no life of his own. I was the systems possession. Theirs to send where they wanted. From foster home to foster home When the burden of raising me Pushed them to the limit. But it wasn't "rest and relaxation" for me. Because no matter where I went The disease ran rampant through my family. Foster home to foster home With no family or love to provide me with. DAMN THIS SYSTEM YOU HAVE FAILED ME ONCE TO OFTEN! Bedroom inspections were always on tuesdays If everything was perfect we could go outside and play but a paper out of place or a messy bed, we'd pay dearly. Normal childhood activities , like play? NOT THIS CHILD. I was always combat ready. Training myself to survive. I had to be on guard, alert. Night times were the worst But, Unlike armed camps There wasn't any sentries Laying in my bed Hovering between exhaustion and sleep. Listening for the whisper of the intruder. Just in case he came into my room. Or waking to find that he had already infiltrated and was laying on top of me. How could I do anything else......... EXCEPT PLAY DEAD? My childhood was a war zone As frightening and devestating as vietnam. A battleground of fear. Where discord and conflict were the rules. Once in a while, When I allow the feelings stored since childhood Bubble to the surface, I have a hard time Keeping them under control. I immediately want to flee. Destroy something SOMETIMES.................. EVEN ME! |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lisann - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lisann Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 350 |
Sorry guys if that last line sounds very dark and drab. It is not at all meant to sound as though I am suicidal. because I am not. I have way too much too live for. I have a beautiful baby girl and a very first and so far very strong friendship. so things are not as drab and depressing as this poem seems to be. I wrote this poem after one of my nightmares. occassionally i have feelings like destroying my body so as to ensure no one would ever abuse it again. but now that i am developing healthy relationships filled with love i can begin to replace those angry hateful feelings with positive ones. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Lisann: This brings tears to my eyes... No child should have to endure such a life. Unfortunately, bureaucrats trusted with doing what's best leave children vulnerable to such abuse when other hearts are yearning to give them the love they so richly deserve. You've written a painful, powerful piece here... good luck to you and your baby! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lisann~ Thumbing through the archives ... and wanting to let you know that just because you haven't been here for so long, ... doesn't mean that your words archived here have lost their impact on others~ I miss you and hope you are doing well~ Hoping you'll drop in from time to time~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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