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Open Poetry #12
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Two bodies, one mind
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Two bodies, one mind |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
My hands cannot touch you. Yet I adore you. Remote, senseless, is this crazy feeling that you stirred inside. What is this so strong that I can barely control? Two bodies, one mind, its too painful this love.My hands cannot touch you. But my sweat is your sweat. This volcano in my heart, it's ticking away. Two bodies, one mind, its too painful this love. |
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| © Copyright 2001 walker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Walker, I like this very much, however I would line up those last lines differently... Two bodies one mind it's too painful this love or Two bodies one mind it's too painful this love whata ya think? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
it always hurts when two share one. . . superb. . . and VAS has the right idea about moving the lines. . .  ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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