Open Poetry #12 |
The Day The World Turned Grey |
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Upon waking this morning To behold all that is surreal Though the sun be dawning It cannot help the way that I feel On the road to fame and fortune Something happened along the way The world began to turn to grey I can remember it clearly now Every moment of every dream Something missing somehow Images cut from different scenes I know what it’s like to despair To forget what was meant to say At home in the house of play Know now full well the story entire Of once upon a some other time The storyteller branded a liar Cursed for happy endings stolen in kind Somehow the road detoured Began as the brightest day today Then the world turned to grey |
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© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Life is sure full of its ups and downs...but the challange of being happy with the purpose of the downs...is a challange that makes life's ups so wonderful and sweet...we are all fighting something somehere somehow....it's our attitude that makes us appreciate it as a challange....good work!! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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bbent Senior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 521Alaska |
Damn good thing there's a tomorrow eh? I enjoyed this..........Peace ~ live and let live ~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I can remember it clearly now Every moment of every dream Something missing somehow Images cut from different scenes I know what it’s like to despair To forget what was meant to say At home in the house of play Know now full well the story entire Of once upon a some other time The storyteller branded a liar Cursed for happy endings stolen in kind Somehow the road detoured Began as the brightest day today Then the world turned to grey ===================== your cadence is dead on in this poignant, melancholy piece ... this is perfect read aloud very cool in its use of phrasing and imagery. "On the road to fame and fortune Something happened along the way" "Something missing somehow Images cut from different scenes" "To forget what was meant to say" "Know now full well the story entire "Of once upon a some other time" "The storyteller branded a liar" "Cursed for happy endings stolen in kind" excellent use of unique phrases to illustrate the dark, somewhat cryptic and bitter, edge to this. I have always enjoyed/appreciated this side of your writing. You write of emotions and realities, that Im sure far too many of us relate to each day. happy endings are harder to come by than we grow up believing in. but, I had to smile when I read that first verse, seeing your musical influences coming into play... which is always cool when we are inspired in that way... a well written and conceived piece of work here poet sir... written with your trademark intensity and depth of expression.(always way cool) mind if I add it to my PK collection *S* I'll trade ya a verse for a verse "We're living in a world full of illusion Everything is so unreal My mind is in a state of confusion But I can't deny the way I feel" ~DepecheMode~ As sure as God made wine you can't wrap your arms around a memory In the dark for me youre the candle flame that flickers to life ~Mission UK~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 02-17-2001).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Poeticknight, I loved the line "The storyteller branded a liar." It has such a genuine ring to it. Write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Thanks to everyone for replying. JM, I don't know what you are talking about...musical influences, there was no Depeche Mode going thru my head on this one. Sorry. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
my mistake ... please forgive the misread ... the song was in my head that day when I read this ... so the apology is mine to make ... I tend to get carried away in replies(I hope I didnt offend) but my compliments of this piece was other wise sincere... its an excellent write. sorry for the confusion. jm |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
PK, thank you for this....I needed a gray day to see the beam of light coming through... |
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