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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-01-29 03:40 AM


I think my heart is dying
and my pen it writes in rust.
my soul too old, it has decayed
and blown away like dust
I'm losing my ability
to take a hand in trust.
I tire of feeding dogs that bite
to save myself a bit of crust...

I'm not strong as you might think
I'm just a little girl
and all I want? to clap and sing,
with my pretty skirt in whirl...
and oh I would, I'd dance for you,
a ribbon dance of swirl
and try to be your everything
your universe, unfurled

a scroll of carpet for your feet,
and at the end, I'd curtsey sweet,
await in silent misery,
in prayer the king might notice me.



© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
1 posted 2001-01-29 05:13 AM


"I'm not strong as you might think
I'm just a little girl
and all I want? to clap and sing,
with my pretty skirt in whirl..."


Excellent work! I do like this one very much.

" I have seen without perceiving
I have been another man
Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am"....Dweller on the Threshold,

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2001-01-29 09:25 AM


Serenity,
I think my heart is dying
and my pen it writes in rust.
my soul too old, it has decayed
and blown away like dust

Beautiful poetry. *L* Sy

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2001-01-29 12:41 PM


he hasn't noticed you yet? awww c'mon! *wink*....... awesome write serene one.... lucy's dancin' withya!
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2001-01-29 12:55 PM


Serenity--
Don't keep misery silent.  You deserve better than anyone who doesn't scroll out the carpet for you.

take care,
Poeminister

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-01-29 01:10 PM


he should notice you. . . you're the Queen. . .  

excellent writing my friend. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

6 posted 2001-01-29 01:11 PM


Serenity,
I really enjoyed reading this poem you write...
It's a keeper4me sweetie
Thank you
~coco~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2001-01-29 01:40 PM


serenity,
such a poignant write.This touched my heart especially this.
"I think my heart is dying
and my pen it writes in rust.
my soul too old, it has decayed
and blown away like dust
I'm losing my ability
to take a hand in trust.
I tire of feeding dogs that bite
to save myself a bit of crust..."

Write on
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
8 posted 2001-01-29 01:50 PM


Girl girl girl you reading my mind with this one aint ya? Good stuff babe
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2001-01-29 02:30 PM


am blown away by your work, sigh.....whew...again i say you write my heart lady, and far better than i ever could
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-01-29 02:45 PM


I think my heart is dying
and my pen it writes in rust.
my soul too old, it has decayed
and blown away like dust
I'm losing my ability
to take a hand in trust.
I tire of feeding dogs that bite
to save myself a bit of crust...
==================

*sigh* ... I know me sweet ... I know ...
me thinks our wings are tired baby ...
BUT trust me ... nothing that comes from your pen is rust!!!
hugs in the winds blowing south me twin
me loves ya
me


If my slight Muse do please these curious days ...
The pain be mine ...
but thine shall be the praise.

~Shakespeare~


Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
11 posted 2001-02-02 06:13 PM



Oh serenity, I relate so deeply to your words.  Very well expressed and so sorrowful. You have a great way with imagery and phrases that makes the reader share your emotions with you as if they were their own.  Rust could never flow from your pen, only magic.  I truly mean that too    ~Hugs~

Take care,
Melissa~

sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
12 posted 2001-03-27 01:12 PM


I loved it!   very nice!  

~*~SCG~*~

Katherine Chandler
Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280
Florida, USA
13 posted 2001-03-27 04:25 PM


A most excellent piece of writing, I was moved by your description of "the little girl".. very good read. Thank you.   Kate

Blessings

Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.
T S Eliot

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2001-03-28 12:54 PM


Wow...still yet another I'd forgotten!

I want to thank you all, words just don't come near to expressing the gratitude!

SMOOCHIES TO THE FORUM!!!!

the romantic fanatic
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 26
Spokane, WA U.S.A.
15 posted 2001-03-28 04:38 PM


Wow! Very impressive, I think I should look for more of your stuff here...

D-mon



Red-uni
Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 192
Georgia, USA
16 posted 2001-04-01 11:15 PM


I like this, very well done.  If he does not notice there are better fish in the sea.
Red  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2001-04-04 06:25 PM


I think my heart is dying
                  and my pen it writes in rust.
                  my soul too old, it has decayed
                  and blown away like dust

and oh I would, I'd dance for you,
                  a ribbon dance of swirl
                  and try to be your everything
                  your universe, unfurled


You're talking to me hon!

excellent writing Sista!

loved it
Maree

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

18 posted 2001-04-04 06:26 PM


I want this in my library  
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