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Open Poetry #12
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 2001-01-27 07:44 AM


You

immortalise all definitions of
truth

(I fail to spill my fire onto a wick
of mere words)

love, you haunt and caress all
these crevices I keep hidden and held
away

so gently you carve my fear
into chiseled remains, so
real, so alive, you quicken
in the air under my fingertips and

I taste the arising

run with me, follow, yet it is
only your shadow – you
curve before me, my guide, I
am your penumbra

earth-struck I realise this is not
made of the mythical

stillness
stillness

I’m aflight, afire
    waved in hope

hushed into flame.

This is joy.

© K.Mahony 2001


© Copyright 2001 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-01-27 07:51 AM


Very well written! Such a unique way to view the depth of joy......and anyone that can include penumbra into a delicate poem.... well.... they will eventually be aflight, afire.. waved in hope....and of course hushed into flame......well done!!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-01-27 07:58 AM


and it is joy for me as well, m'love.

I have waited to see ya post again? and to see you post this, this, THIS way?

HUGS TO HEART FROM ME TO FRIEND...


love ya much.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2001-01-27 07:59 AM


Oh Little K.....do you know the joy I had in reading this?  Wonderful, my friend! Now I get to smile ALL day....{~,^}
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2001-01-27 08:05 AM


I'm so happy to see you posting your magic again. Your "wick of mere words", my dear is a your mere genius of poetic expression.
Gosh, how I miss you
LIz

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-01-27 08:11 AM


it's joy to see your face and read your words!!!!!!

Kathleen



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 2001-01-27 08:38 AM


You are definitely writing from your heart! I love this.    
Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
7 posted 2001-01-27 09:27 AM


so gently you carve my fear
into chiseled remains, so
real, so alive


K, Always a pleasure to read you, I feel as if I've ascended tier upon tier in the soulfulness of your words.

Robert Joseph

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2001-01-27 10:56 AM


SUPERB!!!!!  What a wonderful way to describe joy.  This one goes into the library for sure.

If you find yourself stranded in a storm
...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2001-01-27 11:10 AM


Kamla--Your thoughts of heart are so beautifully expressed here...I am touched by them, and you.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2001-01-27 11:21 AM


Severn,
You blew me away with this one. Excellent writing. Sy

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2001-01-27 11:58 AM


Kamla~
Such pleasured joy you've written -
of a heart so obviously smitten -
with joy ~

It's such delight to find your quill
has spilled the ink of you ...
*Hugs*
~*Marge(y)*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2001-01-27 01:01 PM


Oh I needed this Kamla ... just beautiful! Lovely, descriptive emotions ... an absolute joy to read, thank you!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
13 posted 2001-01-27 01:56 PM


this is Joy. . . but it's also you. . .

excellent. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
14 posted 2001-01-27 02:02 PM


A new style for me to read and I like it.  Being new around here, I enjoy the "feel" of this.  Will check in again,  ME
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

15 posted 2001-01-27 09:58 PM


Kamla, this is beautiful, so beautiful that it brings tears.

sigh

Maree

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
16 posted 2001-01-27 10:04 PM


i'd really like to see the performance yuh yuh haunting i love it
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

17 posted 2001-01-27 10:10 PM


This was a joy to read, Kamla!

Denise

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
18 posted 2001-01-27 11:02 PM


Severn--You spilt your fire onto this wick superbly.  Enjoyed this muchly.

take care,
Poeminister

"Awaiting welcome light of glory's gold,
I search the night to fan salvation's spark."
--Claire Brown Bower


[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 01-27-2001).]

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
19 posted 2001-01-28 12:52 PM


You have touched fire and felt its ability to heal.....it seems


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
20 posted 2001-01-28 12:57 PM


This is definately joy, K, and a wonderful poem and read...enjoyed mucho!   (still smiling big just from reading)

Alicat

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most
intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin



He
Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 41

21 posted 2001-01-28 02:36 AM


My love

No words were
ever heart felt more

Nor tendered 'pon truths
altar in stark giving as you

I more than humbled cry
tears of the purest joy

knowing feeling being 'neath
fiery skies your moment forever

I do, I will, love you most precious
till there is no thing as time if only

to see the gift unrivaled sparkling
in your eyes the moments we define life

(Space, illusion, we traverse love,
time but change, we mold, eternal lovers deciding tomorrow's fate, in your arms, the choice is made)

Always
Makes forever

as I am
Yours



CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

22 posted 2001-01-28 02:53 AM


hi Severn, just me dropping by to say I really like your poem and pleaaaaaaase keep writing more....

hugs2u
~coco~


[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 01-28-2001).]

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
23 posted 2001-02-18 06:41 PM


ooooo sweet friend, this is soooo delicious!

A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
24 posted 2001-02-18 08:46 PM


this is not a critique...this is just one reader's reaction after reading your poem...

i had problems with the line

You

immortalise all definitons of truth

that line made me go "huh?" as compared to the rest of your verse which is wonderfully descriptive...i guess i will like to see this concept to be developed further...more details and stuff...

this is going to make me sound stupid(and i suspect i might be the only one who feel this way) but this line contains "hard" words and seems to be harsh-sounding...i wasnt expecting them and i was a little disturbed upon reading them....but of course this feeling subsided after your other stanzas...

more "soft" words perhaps?

and seriously, i think the rest of your poem is great really

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

25 posted 2001-02-18 09:27 PM


Thanks all - there are so many responses here that I truly find it daunting to respond to everyone individually right now, honestly...I appreciate every one of these kind, supportive words - touching anyone's heart with my poetry is a joy for me...

Big K smiles

Ellie - thanks for bringing it up lol - you really meant it when you said you were going to go find my poetry didn't you? LOL..by bringing it up I'm able to say thanks and those people who responded will see it yay bounce!

Kaile - you rock heh...and I will think about your suggestion very seriously. Critiquing rules!

K

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

26 posted 2001-02-19 03:22 PM


wow.....no rips here...just applause
Dennis
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 235
Indiana
27 posted 2001-02-19 03:24 PM


Joy is both the beautiful poem and
knowing I was in New Zealand at one time
oh...if I had only known!!!!!

Dennis

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

28 posted 2001-02-19 03:54 PM


Hey Corazon - what, no rips? Well! That's a compliment...

and Dennis - NZ is a beautiful place that is true...but - only known what exactly????

K

pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
29 posted 2001-02-19 07:10 PM


so...this is what a real poet writes like...mmmmmm..like fine New zealand wine..lol..love the pic too..ahhh..youth springs eternal.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost



catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
30 posted 2001-02-24 04:03 PM


Waved in hope, this is a feeling that I know well. Wonderful poem, so happy I found it.
Sandra

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