Open Poetry #11 |
New York (revised) |
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
New York,-- barren city, devoid of color. The gusting winds holler At the pedestrians crossing the zebra. Mercury laps the zero. The passage of time cares not for infants, But here, even nymphets Lack vital signs. And only cold statues Appear to capture The chill that stitches these side streets. Each morning the eye greets The hung-over clouds, like drying clothes. And each night, the moths Anxiously soar to the lightened candle. The clock strikes the temple With throbs that can keep you awake At your wake. < !signature--> Check out my poetry here: http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet [This message has been edited by Master (edited 12-04-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Tony Abbot Member
since 2000-11-18
Posts 209North Wales,UK |
Great piece here,inventive use of imagery,painted a picture.Thanks. 'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you for replying... |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Your clever wording set a mood and plopped me right in it. Very cool write. Enjoyed this. Take care now. *Peace. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
SpitFire, thanks for replying... I'm glad you liked it. *Peace* |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I've revised the beginning a bit, it should make more sense this way.. Enjoy |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
hey bro, long time but your still kicking always loved your work wish you would find the inspiration for happier times but your bleak discriptions capture me every piece... write on |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Hey Kev, Thanks for your comments! I love your work also. Keep writing! |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Does anyone have any critique or suggestions on this one? |
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