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Open Poetry #11
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Breeze of you....(my first Paradelle)
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Breeze of you....(my first Paradelle) |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
My first Paradelle ...hope its ok... Breeze of You The breeze of you I ken The breeze of you I ken such softness in this air such softness in this air I ken such softnesss in this air the breeze of you Of sweetness true with ease Of sweetness true with ease Unthoughtfully so wise Unthoughfully so wise So wise of sweetness true with ease unthoughfully I am a light feather I am a light feather upon this as you go upon this as you go as you go I am a light feather upon this Upon softness of this I am a feather light As you go with such ease So unthoughfully true I ken wise sweetness in this air the breeze of you Poeminister [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 11-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kevin Rainbow - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I think it reads like a song!  I really enjoyed this -SEA |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
SEA --Thank you. Glad you enjoyed. [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 11-28-2000).] |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Oh gosh, I don't know what a Paradelle is but I do know what I like and this I like very much. I seemed to flow along with your words. Thank you so very much for the read. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. [URL=http://path2riches.com]http://path2riches.com |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Startime--Thanks for your kind comment In short, a Paradelle is just a poem of four six-line stanzas. The first and second lines, and the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be the same. The fifth and sixth lines, must use the words from the preceding lines in a mix. And the final stanza must use all the words from the first three stanzas...hope I explained it ok in a nutshell.. Thanks again for your reply... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
beautiful paradelle, and I think that you have done this one real good. truly enjoyed reading this one....I agree with SEA that it reads like a song. Charisma |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Charisma--Thank you for reading and for your comment. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this is excellent... while Im no expert on the form...I really like the melodics of this but most of all the imagery of the feathers and the breezy light essence of this made it a very enjoyable read take care jm Sprayed across my heart and hers Danced butterflies in the wild This angel, this woman , who loves me with the innocence of a child. ~DeVante~ |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
JM -Thankyou so much for your comments and for stopping by to read. [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 11-29-2000).] |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
I have not read this style before, but really enjoyed the easy flow. Lovely theme. Look within the heart of a poet, and you will see a reflection of their soul. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Hey, that's neat! I need to try this. Question: in the last stanza do you mix the words any way you want?? jwesley |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Whisper, Hello, Thank you for your kind comments and for stopping by...glad you enjoyed. Jwesley--Good day, thanks for your comment. Not totally sure but I think you can mix your word any way you want in the last stanza so long a they retain all the meaning still of all the first 3 stanzas...but as I say, I'm not totally sure.. thanks again for replying. take care, Poeminister |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Poe, this is fantastic writing... I enjoyed reading this form of poetic verse and I applaud you for the great write my friend... Coco |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Poeminister I like the emotion you have displayed. Paradelles are a challenge. I’ll try it some day. Melton |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Yo Poe - Dontcha just LOVE formatted poetry?... This form is like putting a poetic puzzle together.. You've done well, naturally... ... I expect nothing less from you...The trick in the two lines that sum the rest in the first three stanzas - as well as the entirety of the final stanza... is that you have to use EVERY puzzle piece... no more - no less... That can get really tricky.... See why I equate this to masochism????.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And like the feather, this floats right back up to the top... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Never heard of or read this form before. Very interesting. Your description of the form makes it seem an easy feat, yet I think that is probably a fogged perception, especially considering the remark of likening it to masochism. ;o} I do still find myself wanting to try it. Think I'll read the other one on the board, first, though. |
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