Open Poetry #11 |
Ring of Brass (A Villanelle) |
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Within our grasp such seldom pass, Yet oft forborne without concern. Reach forth - Enhand the Ring of Brass. Solicitude invites surpass; Too soon a lesson we must learn. Within our grasp such seldom pass. Beyond our reach in swift bypass, Life's carousel in constant turn. Reach forth - Enhand the Ring of Brass. Encore at best a chance repass No surety of bout's return Within our grasp such seldom pass. Best not forego or overpass; Ne'er hesitate, remand or spurn. Reach forth - Enhand the Ring of Brass. Lest we partake life's looking glass, An opt for naught yields morrow's yearn; Within our grasp such seldom pass, Reach forth - Enhand the Ring of Brass. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 02-18-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved | |||
Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Yes you have to reach out and grab for all you are worth...lifes not worth living if you dont take a chance |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*sigh You make these things seem so easy when I know they are torture!!! And done with such feeling too. Excellent! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You make me want to try...but I feel the bite of failure... so I will look to you for such...and quietly smile...and applaud... a laureate of poets... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
At last, your Ring of Brass!! Beautifully done, Nan!! It was worth the wait!! Denise |
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Greg_s Junior Member
since 2000-11-23
Posts 36Los Angeles, CA |
I like how you've used this difficult form. Also I like how the title accentuates the circularity of progression that the villanelle achieves. This poem makes me feel somewhat optimistic, although I don't know if that was your intention. This is very nice, thanks for sharing. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You've crafted a fine poem here, Nan. What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life. Walt Whitman |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ Very, very nicely done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
I need to try a Villanelles sometime... This is excellent writing. Well done. Poeminister< !signature--> "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 11-26-2000).] |
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Tony Abbot Member
since 2000-11-18
Posts 209North Wales,UK |
I've justed posted a villanelle called 'No Man's Land',and I have learnt how difficult they are to write.This was excellently written. 'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
very very cool.... and yet another lesson in well done poetry... once again I say...must be why your the teacher cool idea...the brass ring theme. take care jm |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Your words are so beautiful in their use. Theytransport me to a place where the tongue shows the deepest of emotions through a language that is of greatest beauty. Thank you so very much. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. [URL=http://path2riches.com]http://path2riches.com |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you my dear friends.. Paula - One thing I've learned is that the rings don't fall into your lap.. You've gotta catch 'em while you can... PdV - Thanks... Well, the good news is that half of it writes itself... Sunshine - That's a wonderful compliment - I sincerely thank you.. Denise - Didn't take me toooooo long, eh?... Greg - I'm happy you came here for your first visit... and yes.. I try to maintain a sense of optimisim in all my writing.. Rose - Many thanks.. Marge - More thanks.. Poeminister - There's no time like the present... See ya in the workshop.. Tony - Thanks - I'll check yours out.. JanetMeister - Thankya... Glad you liked it.. Startime - Another wonderful compliment - and my sincere appreciation.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Nan...I do love this...now you've gone and made me think again!!! How do you get them to flow like this? Wonderful. |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Nan...thanks for another reminder of a wonderful day and why a brass ring hangs in the Sebring... Love you Susan |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
how do you DO that?? geez... you make the form flow so seamlessly... do you teach poetry?? hehe this sorta brought a picture to my mind of a carousel in the middle of the mall near the smithsonean (did i spell that right? lol)... anyway, it was as if i could see you there... reaching for the ring... me, taking a photo of it... no wait! that wasn't you! that was alicia but... you were there anyway ... yep!! great writing, Nan....excellent in theme and dream - all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry - |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
a great thought in a difficult form - I must be pressed into - self flagellation - is seldom my style i can still see my daughter riding tha carousel at Watch Hill R.I. - proudly showing off the ring grinning from ear to ear. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
LOL.. Serenity - I'm glad you enjoyed this... but don't be going overboard - No thinking allowed.. Lorelei - The Brass Ring is all yours, my friend... Martha's Vineyard will never be the same after you and I got done with it.... and you got that ring - Fair & Square!!!.. Doreen - Alicia was on the carousel.. You were taking a picture of her... and I was taking a picture of you taking a picture of her... yep.. That was it.... Wil - hehe... You miss being here in New England, eh?? Come visit anytime - I'll challenge you to see who gets the brass.. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 12-02-2000).] |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
This my friends, is why she is The Knower of Words. . . Wonderful Nan. . . just wonderful. . . ---------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Nan, You caught the brass ring on this one. *L* |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Sven and Sy... Big SMOOOOOCHES to both of you... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Great style...like this Vilanelle, don't know what it is, or what the rules are for this form...but it's great to read it. thanks for sharing Charisma |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
A'hhh Nancy, Magnificue, scortalating, and excellence, as you always do. You are a master. BC |
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