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Open Poetry #11
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stripped of emotional sense.....................
| Open Poetry #11 |
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stripped of emotional sense..................... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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stripped of emotional sense like a rasher of bacon flailed then cast aside, not even crisped brown and tasted missing the salt of life gone wanting… he took that sense of loving left it behind in dreams of his own it was all I had to give of love… he took that sense of caring which was given so freely and stomped from it sharing indeed, the time is now wearing… he took what feelings were left and poked fun and poked holes and now not even swiss cheese is left behind… so the discarded bacon is left to be rat meat greening and spoiled along the roadside and I can only Thank God that this all happened beachside so that perhaps a gull will fight the rat and pick me up and take me on one last flight up < !signature--> Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 11-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
You're already flying. . . and we can see you. . . Powerful words my friend. . . very powerful. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you Sven, for always reading into the poems....even the fictitious ones... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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aurora rain Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90 |
i can see it, feel it, smell it, taste it...breathe it. i feel as though i am there. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Aurora, then I must have penned it just right...thank you so much... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I enjoyed the view in this and the time that you obviously put into the thoughts...gave me a reason to pause and ponder...always a joy to do when it's one of your pieces~ You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I'm with Aurora on this one, I actually felt the aftertaste! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
BDC, to know that you read, and just don't walk away, but take it with you to think on it, is a poet's delight...thank you for letting me know, you've just put the breeze under my wings... Kathleen, thank you for reading! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari, applause, this is wonderful, I'm catching up on my reading so. This is getting sent to the front, where it can be read and where it should be. Cream always rises to the top, so rise away love.  Take care Majestic Marsha (I'm stuck at work and there's nothing I can do about that but at least I can gaze at beauty.)  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
( a little too far, Toe...sorry ) [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 11-25-2000).] |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Balladeer.....no problem....at least I got your response?.....I'll just lurk for a while I reckon....safer don't ya think? |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
You have such a unique way with the words of this poem wetting all my senses and bringing them to life. Much thanks for the wonderful read. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Startime....thank you for taking time to read this... Toe...thanks... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sunshine~ I know what this is like......sort of......it's been a while, thank goodness! Excellent write!  -SEA |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well with no swiss cheese left behind I hope that Gull is going to take you to the super market....cause you're going to need you strength if going way up you know up!! I love the originality of your poems Karilea they are always so well written and so interesting to read...take care ...ethome.......... |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Sunshine-Very descriptive, I felt your words, you've captured feelings well. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
wow - when you write like this - you let it all out - made me feel like beach carrion myself! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank You All!... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Jeez! Can't believe I didn't comment on this one! I remember when I read it how well presented it was... Don't worry, sunshine. I'm a rat that will always bring home the bacon! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well then 'Deer don't forget the cheese...I'm a salt freak and need my snackin's...and thanks for the tongue-in-cheek comment...I love 'em and you know it!... |
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kindasorta Member
since 2000-12-02
Posts 56 |
Well written and clear cut to the point sort of poem....do I detect a little brag? maybe not, will reread for better interpretation. Seems this one could be used as standby time after time after time, looks like somebody would wise up...or maybe they have?? good en' |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Kindasorta, thank you for the read. I think what you read was a sense of hope...not brag. Thanks again. |
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