Open Poetry #11 |
A Tear-stain Drying on a Note |
Quiet One Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46Shhhhh |
A Broken Tune ''''''''''''' Evolved to hapless creature twilight to fading night Avoiding joyous countenance no song feels my delight Time hangs limp before me without a care I show Could I despair... should I despair... beside the pleasure flow ''' If sing I could tomorrow this prayer I'd sing today Get lost in tune forget a while my troubles as I play ''' All thunder stilled by morning new heart-strings strung by noon A tear-stain drying on a note might mend a broken tune ''' ''' ''' |
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© Copyright 2001 Quiet One - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
In these situations we find ourselves looking for that first day when once again we can actually see and feel the warmth of the sun instead of the bitter cold of heart-ache. Wonderfully written. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Quiet One, This was sad, yet beautiful in its own way. I can see it happening and know that there is much pain in these words. But we must be careful to learn the lessons at hand so that we may move on. Nice writing. Welcome to Passions. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
QuietOne~ I enjoyed the musical theme to this haunting piece. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Quiet One Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46Shhhhh |
Thankyou Mark and Lone Wolf I like to think I have moved on. I wrote this from memory. On a still night, memories creep up sometimes. '''''''' Marg Thankyou it does sing a bit doesn't it |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Quiet one, this sings more than a bit, it rides on angels wings and soars with the choir. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
you know, marge said it already, but your pieces read like songs. very rufus. i like the optimism at the end. i dig it. "...a gross, physical salute to the fantastic possiblilties of life...-but only for those with true grit. We're chock full of that." *snoogins* |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Get lost in tune forget a while my troubles as I play me too...would love to get lost in a tune..and somedays I let the music do my thinking for me ~Soft smiles ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Quiet One Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46Shhhhh |
Kethry LOL thankyou I think I'd aim more toward the kneelers as I hum a few bars ''''''''' Thankyou Ethan you and Marge have an 'ear' I do try and write with a little music in mind ''''''''' Wynter Then we most certainly have a common ground thankyou |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Well done ... It does read like a song |
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