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Caught
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Caught |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Caught you caught her eye when she caught your voice no choice caught ought to be a way to disengage quiet rage tangled don’t bungle this don’t rush the kiss O wow somehow know how comes into play some day some way can you be taught to be caught this way she sighs you realize when you’ve looked into her eyes she... caught... you... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sunshine~ this is FANTASTIC! I loved the ending!!!  -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
and what a nice way to be caught! *smiles* loved this! -Tier |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Last night - watching the tube - AMC had "There's No Business Like Show Business" - and Donald O'Conner sang "A man chases a girl - until she catches him" - today with beautiful brevity - you've captured the wonderous magic of the love dance I do believe Irving Berlin would take off his hat to you - you did this wonderfully. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari, tres bon, c'est manifique, c'est formidable, (Okay that's the french out the way  ) This is utterly superb, love it you are getting so good I had to change the language otherwise you'd get bored. Yes you would love, I know.Anyway encore, do it again, I want another one, please, it's turning into one of those days. (Where you wish you hadn't got out of bed) Take care MM  Thanks for the beauty love, I need all the beauty I can get today. Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
SEA...aren't you glad there was an ending, then? LOL...thank you... Tiersdin...great name...thank you... Mr. Yeats...see The Corner Pub...Marilyn is in there, waiting on you...saw the same movie, I did... Marsha, keep looking...they're out there... thank you! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Neat form, the short blunt lines, fast rhythm and the ubrupt rhyming. A very nice piece, enjoyed it much. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
thank you dp...thank you... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Sounds more like a beggining to me!!! Wonderful verse from you my friend. Now who got caught and does he realize it yet?  Okay, so I am only trying to stir the pot a little, but that is the kind of mood I am in today, okay? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I caught you no, I caught you! no, I caught you no way, I caught you! Oh, let's just say that we caught each other!!! Wonderful poem. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Oh, boy...am I caught!!! I'll try not to bungle it the style and rhyme scheme and the way you constructed this is exceptional, sunshine.....hard not to rush  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Too cute you are...!! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mark...no one to be caught, just silly fancies rambling around...or is that silly fishes... Sven...laughing with you... 'Deer...thank you for the "style"... Martie...my dog thinks so too...thanks! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
I loved the way this piece flowed Sunshine...this would make a nice piece to recite at open mic huh......wonderful poem....Peace! Nathan |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nate, have at it...just give credit where due...and let me know how it went! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart Kathleen |
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