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Open Poetry #11
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2001-01-04 06:36 AM


Under the dark lights
of the moonless night
feeling feverish -
despondent duress!
Struggle within hurts
as a chasm opens
sucking rapidly -
punishing heartbreak!

Unspoken words wound
more than the ones told,
Unseen scenes seem to
show even more agony
than the ones in view!
How hopelessly true!
Pulling him under
the stilted silence...

He moves and pushes
and smiles to hide pain;
He wears a disguise
as he waits yearning;
He pretends false joy
as his shadows fail;
He speaks of future
as his present dies.

His story will remain
to be continued,
As life will go on
to be continued -
In speechless silence
in settled stillness
in stubborn sorrow.
To be continued...



[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 01-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-01-04 09:48 AM


Unspoken words wound
more than the ones told,
Unseen scenes seem to
show even more agony
than the ones in view!
How hopelessly true!
Pulling him under
the stilted silence...
============================
now who is being brilliant ...
there is SO much wisdom and truth in that verse...
soulful poem Sud ...
filled with deep expressions and emotions ..

"In speechless silence
in settled stillness
in stubborn sorrow.
To be continued..."


"in stubborn sorrow" ... what a cool phrase that is Sud,
yes...it is indeed to be continued...
maybe you can rewrite the ending with hindsight.
take care wise one
jm

Am I loved by my words
Will my vows weather the tide
Bended knees can forsee
all the rhythms of life
And a heart can be held without pride
~Vante

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2001-01-04 05:07 PM


Unspoken words wound
more than the ones told,

How true!! This has much wisdom... well done!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2001-01-04 05:17 PM


Sudhir, this is wonderful writing
Nice to see you again btw  

I have to agree with JM, these lines.... Unspoken words wound
more than the ones told,
Unseen scenes seem to
show even more agony
than the ones in view!
How hopelessly true!
Pulling him under
the stilted silence...

so much truth!

Loved it Suddi  

Maree



I need a lullaby
a kiss goodnight
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this

~Natalie Merchant~

HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2001-01-04 05:30 PM


Wow, could there be enough wisdom in this poem?!?! These are the kinds of poems i love the most because no matter what age you are, you're always learning something every single day.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2001-01-05 07:57 AM


Sudhir,
if the continuance is as cool as part one I may have to get a heater and it's 30 degrees (damn hot) over here.
write on
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
6 posted 2001-01-05 09:43 AM


This really hits home. Struggles within can pull at your soul and mind, and yet we carry on as if all is well.
Good write.
Deb

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2001-01-06 09:16 AM


His story will remain
to be continued,
As life will go on
to be continued -
In speechless silence
in settled stillness
in stubborn sorrow.
To be continued...


I hope that this one is a trilogy at least, Sudhir another gem from your ever flowing poetic fountain, I look forwards to parts 2 and beyond.  

There's a feeling of contentment Now that you are here I feel satisfied I belong
inside Your velvet heaven" Depeche mode

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2001-01-06 09:26 AM


Whew...this one packs a suttle punch and leaves the reader wanting more...great write  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2001-01-06 10:27 AM


Such power in these words! It spoke to me - I hope it is continued, would like to read more!
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-01-06 10:49 AM


Sudhir,

This is amazing.  I have a friend who is suffering from a broken heart.  The man she loves lives in Pakistan and she, here in the United States.  She is in pain and your words tell much about that kind of pain. Thank you for sharing this with us.

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
11 posted 2001-01-06 12:15 PM


This is why you will always be one of my favorites my friend.  You not only pen poetic grace and perfection but you do it in a way to leave us with a feeling as if we have just step up into the light of realization.  Excellent write my friend.
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
12 posted 2001-01-07 08:18 AM


A Well-written piece and wonderful poem!

Nathan

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2001-12-11 10:15 AM


Thank you all, my dear friends...

sort of revisiting my 'own' library... and see that I have not even thanked you all...

sorry about that...

Regards to all,
sudhir

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-01-27 10:18 AM


wow! wonderful work!
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
15 posted 2003-02-18 04:23 PM


thanks a lot...

regards
sudhir

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
16 posted 2003-04-10 10:32 AM


one of your best hugs to you enjoyed
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2003-04-22 07:28 AM


Thanks Vandana...

regards,
sudhir

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