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Whatever
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Whatever |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Whatever good was left in my mind Is something you were able to find You made me give the chaos a voice And lent me belief I have some choice In whatever paths my feet might walk, Whatever dreams my heart might stalk. Whatever worthy there is in me Is because of you - you helped me to be More than a husk around my mistakes. A heart keeps on beating after it breaks. I may not ever learn to forgive Being so stupid, but I’ve learned to live, And you are my source for whatever hope I use to hang onto the end of my rope. Whatever time I’ve left for breath I will need you - Your absence is death. |
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| © Copyright 2001 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very emotionally intense and leading...hooks the reader right away...well done! ...excellent setting! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Knowing you...kind of makes this hard to answer but I'm going to try...ooops You wouldn't be you without your heart because your heart is what makes you care for others, makes you beautiful, loving and warm not to mention humorous when sad... You're a lady and a mum in every way..  HUSG (last time) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Whatever good was left in my mind Is something you were able to find You made me give the chaos a voice And lent me belief I have some choice In whatever paths my feet might walk, Whatever dreams my heart might stalk. Whatever worthy there is in me Is because of you - you helped me to be ===================== More than a husk around my mistakes. A heart keeps on beating after it breaks. ===================== Whatever time I’ve left for breath I will need you - Your absence is death. ================== I love this poem girlie-girl!!! what a cadence kissed promise excellent blending of metaphor and emotion ... all sincerely penned to express your devotion very cool poem S ... very someone inspired a beauty from you  later-NOT stupid-gator jm Am I loved by my words Will my vows weather the tide Bended knees can forsee all the rhythms of life And a heart can be held without pride ~Vante |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Suthern, I hope the object of your affections is worthy of you... excellent write... -Tier{Robin} |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Whatever worthy there is in me Is because of you - you helped me to be yes I agree with the others..very emotional and excellent..you seem to have a lot of strength..good wishes to you in this new year huggzz ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Now this one is a keeper for sure. Not only is it just a wonderful poem to read but the cadence and the format were great. It flows smoothly all the way through whether read silently or aloud. I know.......I read it both ways. |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
This is a really beautiful poem, I especially like these two lines: More than a husk around my mistakes. A heart keeps on beating after it breaks. A keeper that is for sure.. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Suthern, this is wonderful! Straight from the heart! Denise |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I take exception to one word..the word stupid. YOU are never, could never be stupid, Ruth. You feel. You love. Those are GOOD things. As is this poem. Words straight from the heart. A keeper for sure!  |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Hope salted with despair. And a tribute too. Two of the poet's basic food groups. Tasty! Nice pace and rhythym. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderfully written, suthern...I'm always so glad to see you posting your poetry. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
ethome: Thank you very much! It wrote itself so quickly I was afraid it wouldn't make sense to anyone but me. *S* RG: Can't imagine where I borrowed that smiley mask... can you? *G* Thanks, Little Chick... and though certain words must drop from our vocabulary, I know the love in YOUR heart will always be so beautiful that hugs are felt across the miles. *S* Janet Marie: You sweetie. *S* "excellent blending of metaphor and emotion ... all sincerely penned to express your devotion"... Now THERE's a poem... and an immense compliment! *S* Thank you very much... I'm so glad you liked! Tiersdin: He's worthy of much better!! *S* And definitely deserves the peace and quiet I never seem to give! *G* Thank you! nakdthoughts: Thank you... strength has been a long time coming... I had to do a lot of leaning first. *S* I appreciate the good wishes! *S* Mark: I can't think of much greater compliment... Thank you! As for being a keeper... I got home last night and realized that the posting here was the poem's only existence, for I hadn't even copied it. *S* I can't take credit for any flow.... my muse spit it out and I typed! LOL (But I'm sure glad you think it DOES flow! *G*) Songbird: Thank you! Those are my favorite lines, too. *S* dsnyder: Thank you very much! A "wonderful" from you is greatly appreciated. *S* PDV: Bless you, lady... and thanks for that vote of confidence. *S* Still, I can't deny that years ago I ACTED incredibly stupid... and paid with a bankruptcy of self-esteem. *S* Finding someone who believed in me enough to help me believe in myself again is the greatest gift life has given me. *S* Krawdad: Yup... that ole despair keeps the tear ducts busy... guess that's why I add tabasco to my food but rarely salt it? *G* Thank you very much for your kind comments! Martie: Thank you, dear lady. *S* You do realize, though, that Open 11's days are now numbered? *G* Seems every time I finally post a poem, that forum closes! LOL |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Dear...although this is such a lovely poem, I can't picture you being totally dependent on anyone as I've seen your strength through your words What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compaired to what lies within us. [url] [URL=http://www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
it's neat how they make us do this...feel this...think this....nice one suthern |
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Stan Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 120Inland Empire Southern California |
Ah, this is a poem! You have put into words the eternal expression of devotion disguised in self-abnegation. My approval is sonnet. |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Suthern, I get the picture, straight form the heart. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Suthern, I'm like MarkB on this one->I read it three times and 2 of the 3 were quietly read aloud, and oh my goodness, dear PoetLady, you have penned a great poem here... A keeper4sure and I thank you for another jewel you share with this reader... I guess you can tell how much I appreciated reading your poem |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Wow, Suthern...this is powerful! "Your absence is death"...jeez...I love it when you put the pedal to the metal.... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Suthern, my friend~ You've got one of the most devoted hearts I've ever heard beating. What a gal I think you are. 'Whatever worthy there is in me Is because of you - you helped me to be' And may you always know your true worth. Love n' *hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Hoot: Maybe I got strong enough to not fear dependence? *G* I hope so... for dependent I am!!! Thank you! PS: Thank you... it means a lot to me that you read and enjoyed. *S* Stan: Your approval is appreciated! *S* Thank you! Daniel: Thank you! *S* Coco: But I'm not sure I can tell you how much your comments mean to me!!! Thank you isn't nearly enough... but I do thank you! Balladeer: Why thank you, kind sir! (Does this mean I'm licensed to drive? LOL) Marge: Right back at 'cha, dear lady... with many, many thanks. *S* |
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