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seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

0 posted 2001-01-03 01:44 PM

There is a myriad of color
in the rainbow of emotion.
soft hues of indigo
and violet,
shade feelings of devotion.

Deep red and brightest yellow,
are happiness, delight.
While orange,
the flames of anger,
rising brilliant.
Sparks in flight.

Blue paints an angry ocean,
while green envy and greed.
The pastel blending
of each shade,
for all the feelings
we ever will need.

Arcing gentle oer our spirit.
beaming bright
through rains of tears.
The rainbow breathing color
into everyday hopes
and fears.

A tint for every feeling,
every thought,
idea and notion.
Paints this myriad of color
in the rainbow of emotion.

I'd rather be known as a fool with a heart, than be known as a heartless fool. <slh>

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-01-03 01:49 PM

Wow...a rainbow's emotion of motion in ocean's devotion...deep, well thought out...brilliant!

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

2 posted 2001-01-03 02:48 PM

Yep! I think that describes it pretty well!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

3 posted 2001-01-03 02:49 PM

A poet with a paint brush. You have painted a picture full of color with emotion of the heart. I do enjoy your art work!!

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

4 posted 2001-01-03 03:34 PM

Thank you all, but the meter bothers me in the third and fourth verse. It is what I need to say, but it doesnt run smoothly to my ear. I would appreciate any help.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

5 posted 2001-01-03 03:38 PM

I read this one out loud the second time around just to see about the meter after reading your comment and I have to disagree. It read wonderfully to me all the way through but then again I am not an expert, I only know what I like and I loved this one.

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

6 posted 2001-01-03 03:44 PM

Mark, you ARE an expert in my book, but then, I am one of your biggest fans.

Thank you. I will let it stay. (but it still feels as if my flow is kind of rusty!)

Beckalini
Member

since 2001-01-02

Posts 151
Yorkshire, England

7 posted 2001-01-03 04:08 PM

This really is a truly beautiful poem. And don't worry about the rhythm, I think it works perfectly, and if it says what you want it to say then that's all that matters.
Happt new year!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2001-01-03 04:13 PM

If you were wanting to change anything, change "through rains of tears." to "through rain of tears."

Otherwise...leave it alone! Hugs!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

9 posted 2001-01-03 07:22 PM

I have to agree with the others, I really enjoyed the poem. beautifully written

It's in your eyes a fire that's wild and glorious
Unhibited, unfinished in everything I do Let the morning rise like our hearts desire" whipping boy

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

10 posted 2001-01-03 07:26 PM

love this wonderful piece......penned with grace.

Charisma

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