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Open Poetry #11
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Stan
Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 120
Inland Empire Southern California

0 posted 2001-01-03 11:11 AM



sometimes when I’m taken
by the beauty of a lovely thing

deep in my mentality a certain strange vitality
will push to override my random thought
then swelling in reality, still distant from totality
I'11 comprehend an embryonic plot
that grows to actuality with easy informality
in ways these things, I’m sure, are never taught  

first a flow of lyric chatter
comes to play a pitter-patter
so like a throbbing drumbeat on my mind
and words in tumbled timing
to unconscious form and rhyming
are a mist that starts to shape into design

gentle lines then start to dawn
that each the following will spawn
and bring another one to birth
as racing senses fan ahead
to scan the wordy watershed
while sorting out alternatives of worth

til soon the thoughts are growing warm
in sweeping words of ending form
that clarify the drift...
and I’ve been lent a special gift
'twas like an unwatched pot that boiled
until the story was uncoiled
to usher limp, my body back to earth.


© Copyright 2001 Stan Colburn - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2001-01-03 11:17 AM


What a really wonderful way to describe the poetic process!!  Stan, this is great....I love your style!!  


Write on!
-<--<--{(@


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2001-01-03 11:52 AM




Wow! outstanding work here!

enjoyed reading!

-Tier

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2001-01-03 01:59 PM


This pot is bubbling away and I loved the rhythm and flow of the words...makes me wish I had thought of it!  Great!
Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
4 posted 2001-01-03 02:24 PM


Stan-I like your style, alot of thought can be had from your words.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-01-03 03:07 PM


This is great, Stan...loved the flow of simmer to boil here...looking forward to reading more! Enjoyed muchly.
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
6 posted 2001-01-03 03:19 PM


great lines, flow, rhythm, meter, imagery, metaphor... this poem ROCKS!!! .... looking forward to reading more from you....

"and words in tumbled timing
to unconscious form and rhyming
are a mist that starts to shape into design"

love those lines, especially... all of it's really good... i enjoyed the incorporation of interior rhyme within the lines, as well... this is a song.....

Stan
Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 120
Inland Empire Southern California
7 posted 2001-01-04 06:28 PM


Doreen, Serenity, Gemini, Sunshine, Tiersdin, and Sunny.  Thank you all so much.  I've tried to audit your classes too and will need time to get better at replies.
This forum is just a revelation to me.  So many talented and lovely people. Thanks again.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2001-01-04 07:11 PM


Stan--Love the way you use words...and through them into the pot and they come out smelling so sweet...enjoyed your poem very much.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2001-01-04 07:14 PM


and words in tumbled timing
to unconscious form and rhyming


I too enjoyed the  rhyme and meter of your tumbled timing..and if unconscious..WOW..is all I can say..
~softsmiles
~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
10 posted 2001-01-04 08:08 PM


Stan, very well done, send more please.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
11 posted 2001-01-05 05:05 PM


More excellent work...I just don't have the words to say anything else.  


Can I be your willful breeze,
Come to touch,
Your heart to ease?


Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
12 posted 2001-01-05 05:25 PM


yeah I love these lines...they sound soooo familiar...wonderful done

Charisma

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2001-01-05 06:50 PM


this is VERY original!!

"Every man dies.
Not every man truly lives."
Braveheart

Kathleen


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
14 posted 2001-01-05 06:50 PM


Yep great!
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