Open Poetry #11 |
Castle In The Sand |
Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Brilliantly forged upon the gorge Was a castle in the sand Grain by grain it was the same As the ones built so grande Envisioned within, with greatest chagrin Were people just as you or I Going about their day, as they may As long as their castle stayed dry But outside of course, loomed a force That threatened their very home They doubted its power, a piddling shower That would bury their castle in foam But with time, the sun did climb Along with the fateful tide And in went the keep, into the deep With all the imaginary people inside |
||
© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
KokoStewartKoomoa Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580Waikiki, Hawaii |
aww it rained on their parade!!!!! awwwwwww. cute poem, much like a limmerick in form! I hate when my sand castle falls in!!! Keep on a writin' Passion,imagination and intellect running together... Poetry in motion~~~ Aloha with warmest regards, Koko |
||
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Yep, mother sea claims us all, sooner or later, one way or another, doesnt she. Neat and fun write here, my friend. jwesley |
||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah my friend, you are back...this is wonderful, and reminded me of the "church hands" I've often wove with my fingers...in a trice, they are gone...only to be kept in our hearts... this is ... magic... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
||
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* you took me on a magical trip where I watched little people in a perfectly formed sand castle. You took me through this vision with a music like flow in your words. Wonderful writing. Much love and Christmas hugs from me to you. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MistikMan~ It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice to see you. Now haven't you just gotten the cutest grin out of everyone with this delightful render ! Hope all is well with you and that you'll be around longer than just the holidays. Merry Christmas to you, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Thanks for the response everyone, but I am afraid you all sort of missed the point of my poem. funny how much interpretation can change the meaning of a poem for someone. When I originally wrote this, I was using the people in the castle as a metaphor for the imaginations of a child. As time went by, the tide came by and swallowed the castle with all the people inside. The death of imagination, so to speak. The castle also sort of resembled security, or the lack thereof for the people in the castle. They deluded themselved into thinking it could protect them, when in reality it couldnt stop anything. I guess I was too subtle |
||
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
mistik it is so very good to see you come back often with tales as these i like! |
||
Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Aye, and you walt I will try and come back more often, but I cannot write poetry as often I used to be able to, but every once in awhile the feeling strikes me, and down comes another poem. Rest assured I am not gone for good, just a sporadic poster rather than a prolific one. |
||
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well those imaginary people didn't really die they just washed out to imagination Atlanis and will be coming back to inhabit another grand sand castle when the time is right. We are all in trouble if they don't. have a nice holiday and take care....ethome |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |