Open Poetry #11 |
that--I am... |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
He said that I looked beautiful as he walked out the door... He said that I looked beautiful yet, he walked out the door. He said I was enchanting, as I stared at his back... He said I was enchanting-- and no, he is not back. He said to me, "you are so free" as I smiled in response. He whispered then, "belong to me..." as I froze--in response. And oh a pattern, ever changing, changing ever, that--I am. He said that I looked beautiful... and I whispered that I am. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 12-15-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
maxtec1 Senior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 577Garland, Tx |
very good writing. This work touched me. Love and light, Richard |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! "He said to me, "you are so free" as I smiled in response. He whispered then, "belong to me..." as I froze in response" This just slams into my heart with such force...........excellent!!!! -SEA |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent Serenity! I absolutely loved the meter and flow in this piece ... wonderful writing! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
indeed you are my friend. . . self-knowing is the first step. . . wonderful poem from you. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and now I return to "hope I am..." Richard? Glad to touch you back. Love and light to you as well. SEA? I smile to you, for yer m'friend...and big, BLEEDING hearts-to-hug....m'most awesome lady.... Kit? have been counting on me fingers for syllables..lol..thank you. m'friend for noticing...you are wonderful! Sven...yes, I do believe it is "know yourself first"---thank you much and love ya twice-- Love to all, and hugs to forum--I am off to read!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
He said to me, "you are so free" as I smiled in response. He whispered then, "belong to me..." as I froze--in response. And oh a pattern, ever changing, changing ever, that--I am. He said that I looked beautiful... and I whispered that I am =============== YES YOU ARE .... and when I look ...I see a poet and an accomplished writer who's working hard on her craft ... digging these rhymes baby... keep playing with yer poetry... its a beautiful thing to watch ya grow me Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Enjoy the read!!!!!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
JM? YOU make it easy to grow, my friend...you've been my "champion" every step of the way---and I can't even begin to tell you what your friendship means to me. vandana, again, thank you much, Hugs to heart, I do appreciate it. and again, my gratitude to the forum. |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Very nice Serenity, Pleasantly soft and endearing. Great Job Rich |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
This one almost got away from me... Putting you back to the top serenity...I loved this..Much.. ~LL~ The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yes, you certainly are beautiful! "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." Winnie the Pooh |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
yes you are beautiful.....wonderful penned Charisma |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Tis true... You are indeed... and this is a lovely piece, my friend.. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You are getting so crafty, serene one!!! Your style of writing and the thoughts you come up with are a very formidable combination...this is great!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Rich--thanks dawlin'! Lady Lightning--love the name, thank you for reading! Irish Rose--You are too kind to me...and don't stop, okay? Charisma, I thank you kindly as I've been enjoying your work as well! Nan..thank you, m'friend...okay, so I'm PRACTICING thinking in pattern...lol...I'm still working my way up to a Paradelle...(little baby steps for me!) Michael, thank you much...crafty eh? heh heh...careful, it just may be "wishcraft" LOL and hugs. |
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