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Björn
Junior Member

since 2000-02-08

Posts 23
Münster, Germany

0 posted 2000-12-13 07:08 AM

Hi everybody at netpoets.

I'm posting this poem, because I'd really like to know what you're thinking of it. I am thinking of giving it to somebody I never really met before, so any criticism would be greatly appreaciated.
The story behind this is:
I went for a walk on a sunday afternoon, it was raining and I passed a pub with a live band playing.
No better idea of what to do I went in and saw this beautyful singer playing with her band "your finest drops". We had eye contact, smiles and things but I could'nt muster up the courage to talk to her later. In the meantime I learned that she is engaged and I really don't want to intrude on a relationship but still I'd like to tell her how I felt that night.
Sorry for this long babble, here is the poem:

drops, fine and small, falling from a darkened sky
like lover's hands touching, floating and caressing me
through this strange mist and living rain I'm passing by
like mist myself, loosing shape with every step

but me, I'm floating right against the whistling wind
not knowing yet which path to follow, not knowing what to be
in this strange night, with dreams alive and running free
like suddenly this world turned Charles de Lint

I toss and turn and float through ink dark streets
and pass the eyes of unnamed houses, slowly loosing touch
then, suddenly a light (or is it music?) stops my retreat
and I emerge again to realize thats what I missed so much

what my roaming soul was searching for, this music and this light
now fills this once empty place and calls the missing parts of me
from every street and rising from the ground I come to see
no longer "searching for" but "finding" makes me feel so right

and then this spilling, dancing, living notes that drew me here
suddenly they're falling down, just like the finest drops
and this heart-blinding light that some might fear
I realize, is coming from those eyes of yours

those shining eyes, that threw their light right on my core
are the best of any reasons for this night to exist
and yes, I float again but now with no inclination to resist
for I believe that's what this soon dying moment is meant for

This night has long since turned to day and then to night again
and with the turning of the clock my floating turned to walking
but still I find myself searching for the words to let you know
that these eyes of yours accompanied by your smile and your sensual voice
left their sign right on my core and this is what this poem is for.

[This message has been edited by Björn (edited 12-14-2000).]

athena4
Senior Member

since 2000-12-10

Posts 622

1 posted 2000-12-13 09:27 AM

Bjorn,
    A work of art! Send this to your intended love. Their heart will be overwhelmed with your words and passion.You have created a utopia that they would want to dwell in with you always...
  Good luck,
        Elise

Björn
Junior Member

since 2000-02-08

Posts 23
Münster, Germany

2 posted 2000-12-13 10:37 AM

Thanks for your warm words Elise and for giving me your opinon ;-)
I hope I can find the courage to give this poem to her.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2000-12-13 02:44 PM

You know I have found that poetry best serves our own heart...and this is a wonderful expression of your feelings within that moment in time that was so special for you...who knows it may have been special for her also...I cannot understand how you could keep yourself from giving this poem from your heart to her...only because it is a true expression of your feelings and she may value that..singers express themselves thru song and poets thru poetry...so go express yourself...if you like...ha..James

Björn
Junior Member

since 2000-02-08

Posts 23
Münster, Germany

4 posted 2000-12-14 02:47 AM

Thanks for your support James! It's not so very often that I post something here, but you're always one to share some friendly words!!
I think the reason for beeing so anxious about this situation, is the fear of opening myself to someone I basically don't know. As from the music she was making, she has to be a poet herself, so I am bit afraid of her criticism as well.

Thanks again James!
Björn

[This message has been edited by Björn (edited 12-14-2000).]

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