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Open Poetry #11
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-12-13 04:21 AM


I wanted--
write
a psalm of hurt...
I wanted you to feel...
words in motion
still inert
I wanted...wanted you, to FEEL...

I DID---I wished
upon you, pain...
I wished you'd feel
sleepless refrain
of every night
my heart's remains--
pumping blood
a sprinkles' vein...
like a sexton's
soaker hose
beneath
no garden grown...

I should have felt some joy,
I think -
to see you begging
on your knees...
I should have felt some thing
at least -

but oh...I felt? I feel...alone...



[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 12-13-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2000-12-13 04:46 AM


"like a sexton's soaker hose beneath no garden grown..."  Ok it fits the psalm part really good....I love how this one starts, it hooks the reader right away because the direction it's going invokes the need to see it to the end... love the title because that's the way you wrote it in prayer form with melody....very good stuff .....keep it up   Celeste!!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-12-13 08:35 AM


I wanted--
write
a psalm of hurt...
I wanted you to feel...
words in motion
still inert
I wanted...wanted you, to FEEL...
I DID---I wished
upon you, pain...
I wished you'd feel
sleepless refrain
of every night
my heart's remains--
pumping blood
a sprinkles' vein...
like a sexton's
soaker hose
beneath
no garden grown...
==================
is it the pull of the moon ... mercury retro ...I dont know...all I know is once again ...
Im reading thru a mirror ...
you know ... I know ... oh no ...
*sigh* ... I wish I thought it hurt the same for them ... ya know? yea, you know.
hugs for this one baby ...as it goes in me keeper box and me heart
love ya
me


Some people find subtlety in strangers
if you find anything~let me in
Your eyes~you see everything
my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know

Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
3 posted 2000-12-14 02:45 AM


And that m'friend is why the pen is mightier than the sword.  (In real life...a little secret...don't try to swordfight with a pen, you'll get yer but kicked.)  You've got true power and feeling written all over, y'know? I don't know whether to be glad, sad, or ecstatic (because it's still snowing, *wink*) (I also mean about the poem, too). But the emotion is definitely there!  
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