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Open Poetry #11
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melting smoke
| Open Poetry #11 |
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melting smoke |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx 
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take a breath and count down from 3 ignore the sounds and the things you see fade away into the night once more as you lay relaxed upon your floor watch the ceiling through melting curls of smoke slide your hand to make the flow seem broke but it never broke the endless burn it never paused to wait it's turn and so goes life through endless days so many passages, so many ways always counting down to the very end as the beauty of love causes hearts to mend from reality of life destroying your soul it's loss leaves you broken and not quite whole and as the smoke melts once more as one the things that you did become undone with the tears I cried so long washed away and daylight fading into one hopeful ray who knows whether it will be there tomorrow or if the world will join in your sorrow as you close your eyes to sleep once more lying there ontop the bedroom floor watch the smoke rings fade away at night as you lie there in soft candle light as the darkness looms like a wild beast hungrily waiting for the carnal feast in a world where dreams still rule supreme and nothing is ever what it should seem so I'll lay on the floor for a day or two thinking about the stories I'd like to tell you about the fun and the laughs about what people say the trauma and drama that we have every day but I never remember those small little things from the color of a bird to the way it sings a bird is a bird and a song is a song the thing that changes is whether it sounds wrong so close your eyes and relax with me let your eyes go hazy and your mind free as you walk into the depths of life once more as we're lying here on the bedroom floor |
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| © Copyright 2000 James Webster - All Rights Reserved | |||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Breathe back from three. Then perhaps you'll see me as the bird you forgot like an old story plot that was thrown away while you waited for day... I'll close my eyes and relax with you, with the ray of hope it will one day be true. I'll see your face in the dark candlelight and know for once, this is something done right. Wonderful, Des. < !signature--> "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." [This message has been edited by Saxoness (edited 12-08-2000).] |
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Angel_of_Music Junior Member
since 1999-07-25
Posts 35Sanger, TX USA |
Wow Desperado, this screams in such a subtle manner that I'm not even sure what to say. So tender, and yet, it's done with almost a nonchalance about it, that you have to close your eyes and picture every word...not that it's hard. Great imagery, especially the curling smoke. Bravo. "In sleep he sang to me...in dreams he came...that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name..." |
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liquidphantasy Junior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 15california |
quote: You certainly have a way with words! The above lines caught my eye! You look quite young from the photo, but you seem to have a lot of wisdom for your age. I would like to hear this poem read aloud. Oh, and you have a heckuva great vocabulary. I bet you play a mean game of scrabble.  |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
thanks angela for the comments on my poem. I appreciate it. (now if I could ever spell my name right the first time) hehe liquid - thanks for the comments. oh and I usually do more than just play scrabble when it's time for scrabble. I'm the world famous scrabbletop dancer. I'm the master at that. hehe "There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?" --Robert Francis Kennedy, 1968 presidential campaign |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Hey Des...Nice to see you here. Hope all is well with you. I could see the curls of smoke rolling away as I read this. quote: This stanza somehow relaxed me and put me in a state of wonder.... I was ready to lay and listen to your stories, but in visions... ...in silence. Excellent job in taking me there....  And a great piece...you've done well. ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey des... Nice work here.. You can definitely get a clearer picture of life when viewed from the bedroom floor... I haveta say.. I've tried it and it works.. I'll also vouch for your scrabble dancing talent... You're the best!! Who won, anyway??....  |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
thanks irie. I appreciate it. some times I don't know where they come from, but as long as they come should I really care? nan - ummm I think we had too much fun to determine a winner or a loser, but I'd have to say it was prolly you. doreen and I had too much fun laughing at each other to bother with paying attention. |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
 I read this... and then re-read it... and once more re-read it. I really like the way it flows and the simple wonder of how it's written. You have quite a way with words. I'd like to talk with you more sometime. E-mail me if you want. BWA.< !signature-->With a little piece of tomorrow, You'll have to kiss yesterday goodbye. Because today won't last forever, And the past will only make you cry. P.S. I really enjoyed your web-page.. [This message has been edited by Broken_Winged_Angel (edited 12-12-2000).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
touching piece |
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