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Dennis L. White
Senior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.

0 posted 2000-12-06 05:52 AM

Hearts aflame ignore

Warning signs of comming storms

Passions blinders on

12-6-2000

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2000-12-06 05:53 AM

You really have quite a talent for this style ...very good indeed!!

KokoStewartKoomoa
Senior Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 580
Waikiki, Hawaii

2 posted 2000-12-06 06:03 AM

While I thouroughly enjoyed the well written poem...how does this fit senryu form?
I am curious to hear the answer. I have seen many things written rhat claimed to be senryu. I was heavliy critiqued for one and told senryu is a humorous sarcastic style of renka and longer than the 17 syll.
I a very interested and curious to hear what you have to say. thanks

Passion,imagination
and intellect
running together...
Poetry in motion~~~

Aloha with
warmest regards, Koko

Dennis L. White
Senior Member

since 2000-02-17

Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.

3 posted 2000-12-06 11:11 AM

Koko,
Senryu as I understand it is a three-line unrhymed Japanese poetic form structurally similar to haiku, but dealing with human nature rather than physical nature, usually in an ironic or satiric vein. From where I'm sitting, I have suceeded in meeting said requirements for this form. Thanks for your comments and I hope this satisfies your question.
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

4 posted 2000-12-06 03:31 PM

beautiful Dennis.....love it.

Charisma

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2000-12-06 05:30 PM

Wonderful Senryu. Nicely done.

Poeminister

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

6 posted 2000-12-18 08:16 PM

love is blind, isnt it?liked this

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

7 posted 2000-12-18 09:17 PM

This is positively delicious!

Belief is a truth held in the mind; faith is a fire in the heart.

Joseph Fort Newton

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