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Kethry Tracks Down A Silver-Tongued Lauderdalian Devil
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Kethry Tracks Down A Silver-Tongued Lauderdalian Devil |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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She belched aloud as she downed Her sixth Fosters Lager beer. Wiped her face with her blouse, And hitched up her brassiere. She strode through the barroom gates, And proclaimed for all to hear. "I'm Kethry of the Outback, Mates, And I need that Balladeer!" Now Balladeer is a timid sort, And will hide if he is able, So when he heard Kethry's snort, He dove under his table. He could have stayed hidden there, Safe from her demands, But gave his position away to her, When a roach crawled from his pants. Now, Balladeer's lifetime quest Is to rid roaches from his neighborhood. So when he saw the running pest, He squashed it really good. Kethry's head turned quickly around, She's ears like a wombat, Said, "That's the way Balladeer sounds, When he gives a roach a slap!" ‘Deer heard spurs as she approached, And felt his knees begin to shake. His impulsive squash of that roach, Was definitely a huge mistake. Where once there was safety there, Beneath table where he sweltered, Now there was only smoke-filled air, As Kethry swept aside his shelter. "Well, lookee here," Kethry laughed, As ‘Deer cowered in his wingtip shoes. "You'll be needing to write your epitaph, Before I get done with you." He'd plied her with flowery poems, And wrote of his unrequited love. He didn't figure she'd find his home, Or become this all fired up. Now, Kethry is like Calamity Jane, She's a spirit free and wild. Nobody knows from whence she came, Or where she got her style. We only know that Kethry takes, What she needs to pleasure her. And Balladeer made a big mistake, When he said he treasured her. ‘Deer's ending was certainly deserved, And the moral of this tale is clear. If you woo Kethry or a similar girl, Don't slap roaches like Balladeer. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ROTFLMAO Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
I agree with Sunshine...brought a half smile to my face today  and that's hard to do right nowM |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
LngJhnAg, I usually don't find myself actually laughing out loud when reading a poem.. but I am this time.. lol. Very amusing  ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Karilea - Thank you for that very unlady-like rolling around on the floor thingie you do. May I suggest next time you wear something other than a tight black skirt with contrasting white garter belt and undies? Maureen - If I can make you smile, then I'm pretty pleased to be of assistance. As for it being a half-smile, which side of your face was smiling? *visions of Crazy Gugenheim running through my head* Tara - Thank you for your support. I hope the poem makes you more aware of what a devil 'Deer can be. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
I'm disappointed! Here I thought when I opened this poem it was gonna be about you LJ! LMBO! This was a great one LJ! (now quit squishing those "roaches")  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
ROFL! Poor "deer!" But what a way to go! Corinne |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This ain't fair!!!! I tuned in here to see Kethry get lambasted and it was ME being the target du jour!! Let me make this perfectly clear....I DO NOT WEAR WING-TIPPED SHOES!!!  As far as the table, I wuz just trying to get DOWN UNDER!! and as far as being the object of Kethry's pleasure...is that supposed to be a bad thing???? |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"He'd plied her with flowery poems and wrote of his unrequited love, he didn't figure she'd find his home or become this all fired up." You mean this poetry stuff really works. Looks like love grows where Kethry goes..James |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Long John, ROFLMAO This treasure is definitely a keeper |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
So now we know what it takes to be a balladeer. ROFLMAO as well. This one is a keeper for sure....think I'll frame it and hang it above the litter box  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ummm... Was there any of that Fosters left? LOL. Great job, sailor. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Dovey? You were hoping it would be me instead of 'Deer? *more tears streaming down my face* - I think I identified the silver-tongued devil quite well. Corinne - I agree - any way is a good way - lol then I may become King of the Poets heh heh 'Deer - A bad thing to be the object of Kethry's desire? That depends on whether being turned inside out, worn to complete exhaustion, totally used up (and that's in the first 5 minutes) is something you would be willing to go through. I suspect anything like that from Kethry would be close to heaven - maybe TOO close. - lol James - It definitely works when 'Deer does it - that's why he's a silver-tongued devil - lol Kethry - At last - you found it - I was hoping it would lighten your day and make you smile. This poem WAS written for you, yanno. Mark - LMAO@litter box - terrific response. I love it. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LOL LJ, you're too cute to be a devil!  Or are ya?LOL at you Suthern! Good one! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
you DO know how to have fun - I really enjoyed~s~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I enjoyed this very much Kathleen |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Belle - lol@Fosters - I spared you in this poem, as it could have been you sipping a Carling Black Label, and Toerag under the table. But, I wanted to paint a really outlandish picture, and that scene doesn't seem to be all that strange - lol. Rebecca - By now you know what a mean devil I can be - lol. Here's a hug, lil Motel girl. Bill - Yanno, if it isn't fun writing, then why write. I do love tweaking ol' 'Deer's nose once in awhile. Otherwise, he gets too schmaltzie and sentimental, then all the ladies swoon and pat their breasts in overheated admiration. We can't have that breast-patting going on in here. Kathleen - ahh, the connection is made - A true Irish Rose ye are. Thank you, m'Lady for your compliments. *a deep bow and a kiss on the hand* |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
yes, LJohn, I AM a lady, thank you for the kind words and I'm sorry I haven't responded to more of your poetry, where is the time?< !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 10-06-2000).] |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
ROTFLMAO ~~~~~~love reading this, and it make me laugh~~~~~you have a true gift to make us laugh with your humor....I like that |
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