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Open Poetry #10
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Can I try one? . . . A Haiku, that is.
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Can I try one? . . . A Haiku, that is. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
It seems if I sleep All I do is dream of you The whole lonely night Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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| © Copyright 2000 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Interloper, good haiku, nice form, excellent subject. write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Interloper-- i'd say not only did you try...but you suceeded. beautiful haiku. take care. ~amy~ |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Good Job interloper..... |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
haikus are fun..yep..i think you did it ha.. thanks for inspiring me to do one..its been a while..  ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Perfectly thought out...I understand the message only to well. You cannot dance under the rainbow until you have cried in the rain~ |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Interloper, I'll go for that... Well written. You can try as many as you want as far as I'm concerned. dale |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey, good! 5-7-5...now, go with the subject of Haiku, that being nature in context. Believe me, it becomes a wee bit more difficult. Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
great haiku, with a clear message.. well done. Charisma |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Kethry ~ Many thanx. Amy ~ You are too kind. Alan ~ Thank you. Victoria ~ Thank you, dear. Glad to be of some inspiration to someone. BDC ~ Howdy, soulmate. Thanks for the read. Dale ~ Thank you. I gotta admit I'm kinda hooked on this. Sunshine ~ Too difficult to keep stride with you, that's for sure. But I DO NOT surrender. Charisma ~ Thank you very much. You all are wonderfully supportive. Heart felt thanks to all. Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Liked your poem, but I am going to make a few enemies, here  This is actually a senryu, an oriental poem of the same 5-7-5 syllables as the more traditional haiku, but veering off the strict naturalistic path that original haiku follows. Senyrus can be about anything and everything, but a haiku can not. I just learned this and thought I'd share, I found it interesting. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Never quit! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Dragonpoe - I have been corrected. Thanx SEA - I won't ... not now anyway. Live for love. Without love, you don't live. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
*a pat on your back for a job well done* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yes! |
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