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Open Poetry #10
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Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

0 posted 2000-11-15 03:42 PM



It seems if I sleep
All I do is dream of you
The whole lonely night


Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


© Copyright 2000 The Tall Texan aka Doctor Love - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-11-15 03:47 PM


Interloper,
good haiku, nice form, excellent subject.
write on
Kethry


Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed?
Rex E. Alford

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2000-11-15 04:00 PM


Interloper--

i'd say not only did you try...but you
suceeded. beautiful haiku. take care.
~amy~

Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
3 posted 2000-11-15 04:12 PM


Good Job interloper.....
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

4 posted 2000-11-15 04:17 PM


haikus are fun..yep..i think you did it ha..
thanks for inspiring me to do one..its been a while..

               ~Victoria~

              


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
5 posted 2000-11-15 05:36 PM


Perfectly thought out...I understand the message only to well.

You cannot dance under the rainbow until you have cried in the rain~

lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
6 posted 2000-11-15 05:42 PM


Interloper,

I'll go for that... Well written. You can try
as many as you want as far as I'm concerned.

dale

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2000-11-15 05:44 PM


Hey, good!  5-7-5...now, go with the subject of Haiku, that being nature in context.  Believe me, it becomes a wee bit more difficult.

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Charisma
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since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
8 posted 2000-11-15 05:56 PM


great haiku, with a clear message..
well done.

Charisma

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2000-11-16 11:17 AM


Kethry ~
Many thanx.

Amy ~
You are too kind.

Alan ~
Thank you.

Victoria ~
Thank you, dear.  Glad to be of some inspiration to someone.

BDC ~
Howdy, soulmate.  Thanks for the read.

Dale ~
Thank you.  I gotta admit I'm kinda hooked on this.

Sunshine ~
Too difficult to keep stride with you, that's for sure.  But I DO NOT surrender.

Charisma ~
Thank you very much.

You all are wonderfully supportive.  Heart felt thanks to all.


Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
10 posted 2000-11-16 11:21 AM


Liked your poem, but I am going to make a few enemies, here  
This is actually a senryu, an oriental poem of the same 5-7-5 syllables as the more traditional haiku, but veering off the strict naturalistic path that original haiku follows. Senyrus can be about anything and everything, but a haiku can not.
I just learned this and thought I'd share, I found it interesting.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2000-11-16 11:24 AM


Never quit!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
12 posted 2000-11-21 05:06 PM


Dragonpoe - I have been corrected.  Thanx

SEA - I won't ... not now anyway.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
13 posted 2000-11-24 08:24 PM


*a pat on your back for a job well done*
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-01-27 09:37 AM


yes!
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #10 » Can I try one? . . . A Haiku, that is.

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