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Open Poetry #10
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-11-12 05:29 PM



I Used to Have Wings, But Now I Can Fly

©2000  Christopher Ward


really, it was just one photograph,
a familiar rendering
from the rippled ends of For-Never.
really just the black and white coloring of smiles
jaded slightly by the yellowing of Time.
but this photograph...
not long past as far as the world is concerned,
still seemed a lifetime of Old to me.

I knew at that moment
that I shouldn’t have touched your paper face,
or kissed those silently parted lips.
I knew I should have moved on...
brinked at the edge of Nothing,
a glutton for punishment, I guess -
See, I couldn’t walk away Then,
so how could I leave your memory Now?

I tried,
but it reminded me too much
of candlelight cravings,
frantic grabbings and whispered fantasies.
it re-lived the gushing laughter
there on the salty shores of Irony.
and it brought back that day
when there was hope in the Darkness.
yeah, when we turned out the lights
to fight the temporal comfort of arms holding Safety -
from unspoken battles.

guess it wasn’t so idyllic after all.
night after night,
expectations railed smooth
by skewed perceptions,
spinning caustic lows into inversed peaks
of manic romantic idealism.
giddy in the upper atmosphere there,
floating,
we could ignore Insecurity
basking in Perfection outside Solitude.

then the bubble popped,
the road ended
and I shook my head, dizzy in disbelief.
the past, sneaks up on you in moments like that.
so I turned the corner of Awareness and
walked away.
I couldn’t Then, I couldn’t Now.
somehow though - I managed to span that bridge
and find myself at the other side of Pain
and Lonely left behind.

not without a price, though.
I had aged as I gazed there,
tears in my eyes at the sight of Memory.
I missed You in that moment, I think
missed you more than I had since...
well, since the last time.

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-11-12 05:35 PM


Wow. This left me with a sob ready to explode from my chest. But held back by the sadness and sheer beauty of this poem. This has become my favorite of yours. Wonderful sir. You continue to amaze me.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-11-12 05:35 PM


O Christopher, who among us have not visited the photographs...

and kissed the parted lips...

at least once in our lifetime?

the feelings you have invoked....


Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-11-12 05:38 PM


Chris, even through the sadness, this is beautiful...full of wisdom of  the past and hope for the future...I loved this...Hugs to you.
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-11-12 05:48 PM


"I missed You in that moment, I think
missed you more than I had since...
well, since the last time."

Chris, this brought tears to my eyes. The pain of the past never really leaves us, does it? You describe it well, as usual. Thanks for sharing.


False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference.



Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2000-11-12 05:59 PM


Christopher,

Looking back is never easy, but sometimes you just have to take a peek to remember what it was like and why it turned out the way it did.  I thought this was a beautiful piece filled with forgotten hopes that once revisited were surrounded by pain and sorrow.  Of course, writing about it helps us cope.  Well done.

Lone Wolf
< !signature-->

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

[This message has been edited by Lone Wolf (edited 11-12-2000).]

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
6 posted 2000-11-12 06:01 PM


Christopher what an absolutely wonderful work .....I love the reflections and the direct hit on hurt and pain and then the poignant look into the past.....sad but yet loving and tender all at the same time.very very well written piece...take care...ethome
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-11-12 06:27 PM


really, it was just one photograph,
a familiar rendering
from the rippled ends of For-Never.
===================
I knew at that moment
that I shouldn’t have touched your paper face,
or kissed those silently parted lips.
I knew I should have moved on...
brinked at the edge of Nothing,
a glutton for punishment, I guess -
See, I couldn’t walk away Then,
so how could I leave your memory Now?

==============
we could ignore Insecurity
basking in Perfection outside Solitude.

then the bubble popped,
the road ended
and I shook my head, dizzy in disbelief.
the past, sneaks up on you in moments like that.
so I turned the corner of Awareness and
walked away.
I couldn’t Then, I couldn’t Now.
somehow though - I managed to span that bridge
and find myself at the other side of Pain
and Lonely left behind.

not without a price, though.
I had aged as I gazed there,
tears in my eyes at the sight of Memory.
I missed You in that moment, I think
missed you more than I had since...
well, since the last time.

==================
Christopher ... this is an amazing, show of talent, emotional soul and poetic heart.
there were so many lines that effected me I could have highlighted the whole poem.
you have defined and captured the ache ... the kicked in the chest feeling of the process we go thru in accepting and letting go.
So many perfect lines were found here but this one really struck me in its pure profound poetic truth ...

"I had aged as I gazed there,"

you went deep for this piece of work...and took your poetry to new heights.
your command of free verse leaves me with a serious case of poetic envy...
awesome poetry...truly
jm

Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

8 posted 2000-11-12 06:35 PM


Outstanding!!!!!   I truly admire the uniqueness (even if I lack spelling) of your writing.   The bare honesty...emotional depth...I applaud!!!!!!  

To capture and live a moment is truly living

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-11-12 06:40 PM


Had to come back to say, that I too, love,

"For-Never...."

you've added to me vocabulary.

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
10 posted 2000-11-12 06:43 PM


What is this Chris??!! I leave for a bit and come back to find that you've gotten soft on me??? G*

Really though, my dear friend- you should show this side to the world...tis just as beautiful on paper, as if it were coming from your soul...

Take care of yourself!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

11 posted 2000-11-12 07:27 PM


~Christopher,...can't tell you how many times I have come back to this. Can't tell you what is says to me. Ok,...maybe I will.   . In e. ~ However, for here, now, know that I see things, that fill, seriously,...fill my insides with this admiration, of you and your ability to express such things so amazingly. Awesome Mister. Oh, and the title,...grmph! Totally! ~000~ *Peace you.

[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 11-12-2000).]

dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
12 posted 2000-11-12 07:33 PM


Beautiful. I love "For-Never" that one word caught my eye and led me on the rest of the way. Enjoyed this.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2000-11-12 07:33 PM


This is very intriguing, Christopher, you put a lot into this one.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

14 posted 2000-11-12 07:34 PM


This is very intriguing, Christopher, you put a lot into this one.

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
15 posted 2000-11-13 05:07 AM


Awesome work Christopher! beautifully exprressed!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
16 posted 2000-11-13 05:23 AM


So I'm sitting here with this little ache in my chest, and I can't stop re-reading, and I have to stop at the words:
"See, I couldn't walk away Then, so how could I leave your memory Now?" because they describe the stupid simple motive for the feelings I'm having now -- which are at once empathetic and selfish and acid-nostalgic… *sigh* I don't know whether to congratulate you for another excellent composition, or to loathe you for stirring up latent emotions (which are more real after reading them out in this bare space). This is beautiful. This is nearly painful to read.
Oh, and…

night after night,
expectations railed smooth
by skewed perceptions,
spinning caustic lows into inversed peaks
of manic romantic idealism

...amazing.

{{{{{{HUGSAPLENTY}}}}}}
~ Beth

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
17 posted 2000-11-13 05:47 AM


O Chris, this is so evocative.... so real... so well written...

Such a great pleasure to read your poems...

Regards,
Sudhir

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
18 posted 2000-11-13 01:08 PM


not without a price, though.
I had aged as I gazed there,
tears in my eyes at the sight of Memory.
I missed You in that moment, I think
missed you more than I had since...
well, since the last time.


I know this, Chris.  And, it actually made me want to cry. *shaking head*  It's just one of those 'things', yanno?  There's strength in understanding...

Hugs (many BOL)
Nic

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
19 posted 2000-11-13 09:56 PM


Yanno Chris, how is it that you can capture such exquisite sorrow and make the words flow like they were meant to fit together?  Anyways, extraordinary job my friend, I love reading you, Sir Christopher.  *curties*  

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
20 posted 2000-11-13 11:14 PM


Sharon - I don't know what I'd do without you and your support lady.  

Kari - Sorry bout that.. they're not "nice" feelings.

S'en - Hey, what can I say?   Glad to have added to your repetiore!

Erica - Hmm - no, I don't think it does - we only come to accept it batter.. Thank You.

Lone Wolf - If I could write about it, it would tear me apart. Thank you.

ethome - Your words humble me. Thank you!

JM - You lady - always bringing a smile - there's a few of you here that can do it - you're one. Thank you. I can but allow my hands to move and pen what's inside. I'm grateful that the chords aren't heard simply by me.

dreamkeeper - Looks like you spelled it right to me! And to be called unique is a high honor indeed! Thank you!

Tanya - I know, I know - and yes, there is a soft spot (on the back of my head....) Thanks you -  

A - "grrmph?" And that means what? Good or bad?   Thankee & hugggz

dragonpoe - Thank you for continuing after my little "made-up!"

Kathleen - Thanks you - I put a lot into everything I do.  

Eagle One - Thank you for taking the time to read and reply!

Beth - Welp lady - your response 'bout near brought me to tears. An incredible reply from an incredible lady. (But don't tell anyone I said it, 'cause I'd deny it.)   (((((HUGSAPLENTY))))) backatcha

Sudhir - Good to see you back 'round m'friend! Thank you for gracing this with your comments!

Nic - *SIGH* I know that you know that I know that you know about me knowing about you knowing about something... only, I forgot what it was...

Krista - Wow - now that's a wonderfully poetic reply in and of itself - Thank you for the time and the understanding!

Hugs all -

C


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
21 posted 2000-11-13 11:18 PM


Oh Christopher...I sit here just stunned...
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 2000-11-13 11:31 PM


Christopher, my hat is off to you for an absolutely brilliant piece of writing. This is exceptional....
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
23 posted 2000-11-14 11:14 PM


Christopher, words easily dance upon my mind, the gentle memories of a picture can stir up memories as if they are happening now, words can not describe the beauty in this poem it tells of real love not just something temporal but eternal. Lovely write
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
24 posted 2000-11-15 01:55 AM


Paula - Thank you very much - I assume that's good?

Bal - Your words of praise are all that much more valuable because they're rare... or do you want something...

Rosebud - Indeed eternal - and thank you for such a poetically thoughtful reply. I value it!

Chris

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
25 posted 2000-11-15 02:28 PM


Christopher-You've captured that feeling, simply dazzling.
bestgirl911
Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551
Clio, MI , United We Stand
26 posted 2000-11-15 02:42 PM


simply beautiful.....

Best

Casablanca Confidential
Junior Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 13
Virgin Islands
27 posted 2000-11-15 02:45 PM


yeah those photographs of love gone by can creep up on you at the most in-opportune times... nice poem Christopher

you know how to whistle... just pucker up and blow

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
28 posted 2004-06-06 08:16 PM


dang
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