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Open Poetry #10
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-11-10 02:21 AM


Go ahead, my broken artist. Use your passion of paint
to cover over the gaping holes of our new solitude.
With each stroke, think not of heat or sweat-wet cloth,
just our loss, to have your symbolic way with tears.

Everyone told me to stay away. Of course I didn't listen.
Who wants stale air when the breeze braces you?
Now I wonder what colors you have fashioned for me today,
what layers hide beneath them, until those too fade away.

I never expected love to solve the world, just me.
Now it's my understanding that friendship is a collapsible thing.
It seemed we were the sun. Now I'm not your day.

You aren't mine anymore, broken artist. Go away

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
1 posted 2000-11-10 02:59 AM


Great tone throughout this one, could really feel the intensity.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-11-10 07:24 AM


Mike~
Again you've bled the heart ...

'I never expected love to solve the world, just me.
Now it's my understanding that friendship is a collapsible thing.
It seemed we were the sun. Now I'm not your day.'


You are writing some deep feelings and
doing it well.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-11-10 08:04 AM


Everyone told me to stay away. Of course I didn't listen.
Who wants stale air when the breeze braces you?
Now I wonder what colors you have fashioned for me today,
what layers hide beneath them, until those too fade away.

I never expected love to solve the world, just me.
Now it's my understanding that friendship is a collapsible thing.
It seemed we were the sun. Now I'm not your day.

===================
no one poetically bleeds quite like you babes...

"It seemed we were the sun. Now I'm not your day"

what an amazing line that is ...
it cuts deep ... touches me the same way.
but then your poetry always does
take care of you...K...
me

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
4 posted 2000-11-10 08:45 AM


heartfelt penned.....with amazing lines.
love it.

Charisma

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2000-11-10 09:24 AM


Mike~ you made me feel every word....((hugs)) you are amazing   -SEA
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2000-11-11 07:30 PM


I never expected love to solve the world, just me.
Now it's my understanding that friendship is a collapsible thing.
It seemed we were the sun. Now I'm not your day.


POwerful written, excellent piece.

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2000-11-11 07:34 PM


it seems we never listen to the ones who know the best...the ones outside looking in...very bitter piece, sad.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2000-11-11 09:10 PM


Masked Intruder,
Thank you. And I love the name.

Marge,
I know what you mean. I show these to my friends and they're like "Whoa, man, that's deep. TOO deep." I respond "There's no such thing!" > : ) >

Butterfly Slippers,
Leave it to you to always get to the essence. You cherry pick the best lines for me, and then they stay in my head better. Thanks!  

Charisma,
Thank you.

SEA,
(hugs back) If I had a dime for every woman who called me amazing ... I'd now have 10 cents!  

brian,
Thank you.

passing shadows,
Yeah, it is bitter and sad. But hopefully things will look up.

Mike

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