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Jaded Glass
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Jaded Glass |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC 
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"Jaded Glass" Eighteen years has passed by since that fateful day When you gave me up for adoption, and walked away I heard through the grapevine You want to get back in touch with me But if you were to look into my eyes I don't think you'd like what you'd see When you left me all those years ago I had no choice, I had to close the door Tried to put you out of my mind Thinking never again love would I find I tried to lock my heart up in a box And wouldn't let no light within But my Angel in heaven wouldn't let me be Soon the melting of ice began It takes a long time to pick jaded glass out of a heart Some wounds never heal For many years I just didn't deal with things The pain and hurt became too real Now you want me to get in touch with you What do you want me to say? I try not to be angry, and I try not to judge But you hurt me in the most painful way And this isn't just about me, there are two others to consider But then again, it always was about you Sorry if I sound bitter Still thinking from a six year olds point of view I have read the reports on my case, read it in black and white But those words mean nothing, when it's pictures that never leave your sight Memories that linger on, always bringing up the pain Now you say you love me, and want to know if I feel the same Mother dear my answer is no You gave birth to me but that is really all The lady in heaven is my Mom She was always there to catch me when I'd fall She may be gone now, but she won the title with her heart All I want from you is for you to quietly depart Terribly sorry if the truth hurts But lies hurt even worst, that is a fact However, I don't have to tell you You were always the best at that So...if you should see me standing on the street Just walk the other way God help you if you should talk to me You will not like what I have to say It's not your leaving that hurt me, its what you did before It's the years of yelling I heard before the slamming of the door The simple fact that I was a kid, is suppose to excuse it all Hurts no matter what when you're slammed against a wall It may not seem like I forgave you, but I did long ago My Angel helped me to see sometimes you must let things go The memories are still with me, but now I've found peace, joy, and love As you can see, I recieved all those gifts from the lady above Yes, in some ways I want to hurt you, I want you to pay for your sin But I also learned through forgivenss, true healing can begin The girls do not remember you, they didn't have much to grieve I think its best if you just quietlyleave And I'll pick up the shattered glass That's left all around the floor As I silently close the wound in my heart Shutting the door Amy M Kennedy [This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Amy Kennedy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Amy, speaking of powerful...I'm rendered speechless with this one. All I can offer through my goosebumps is HUGS. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Amy, you're so right with this one...even if you have forgiven someone, sometimes it's best to just let things go with that. I know your biological mother will be hurt, and I'm sorry for that, but the choice is yours. There are consequences to every action and there is no way to get away from them. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
*Angel Wing Hugs* Sweet Amy-girl...you purged so much pain in this weave...you made me feel ever beat of it and I know how hard it can be to open up and bleed into poetry like this...but sometimes it's the only way we heal isn't it...You'll make the choice that is right for YOU and that's the only thing that counts right now...you and you alone. Love ya my friend and take care of you~ |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
you certainly captured my attention..and yes it is up to you whether you meet your biological mother or not..and im sorry you have lost your adoptive/real mother ...she sounded like a wonderful person. HUGS ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Amy, this is such an amazingly, brilliant, wonderful, powerful poem. (I was going to say it in all one breath) It's utterly marvellous, yes Amy I am getting exuberant again. You continue flying high and free love, and I'm just behind you soaring. I was going to start singing 'come fly with me' but I don't know the words. You just know I love this one, don't you. Take care Mushy Marsha  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh dear Amy, if I could give you a hug right now, I surely would. Your heartfelt poetry touches me deeply each time, and this is truly so emotion-filled, and powerfully written. All we can do, is follow what we know to be "right for ourselves" ... you sound as though you've worked that through, and no one person can ask any more of you than that. It is your decision ... just as the past, was hers. Hugs to you ... Best wishes, /Kit |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Such sadness and disappointment in your poem and all directed towards this woman that perhaps desperately needs you now as you needed her at one time...James |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Amy, my hand quivered at keyboard as I scrolled down the words from your heart... Gosh gurl, if I could give you hugs... Enough said, a kiss on your eyelids... You're a jewel my friend Coco |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Amy... by far your most well written piece of poetry this one hits home in many ways and I am recalling the things you have shared with me. I understand totally your reasons and emotions here... just remember life is a constant cycle and some things will come back around... often more than once... maybe in time you will feel differently... maybe someday you will want answers to your questions .. and maybe not.... sometimes after we have our own children ... it changes the way we look at things... whatever you decide for now or later ... just remember one thing...if you should decide to have contact...you or one of your sis's...each may have a different reaction... regardless ..nothing that will happen now will ever take away or lessen the title of MOM that belongs to your angel... and she would support and want what ever any of you girls decide that you need to do for closure of piece of mind. Some doors can be opened later.... but only if it lets in light.. only you can make that call.. love ya me |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Wow, Aim. What a, and I quote just about everyone else here, powerful piece! Excellent write, my friend. Take care, girlie. *HUGS*, oh, what the heck, *MORE HUGS* sp  I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me... |
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compassion Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135USA |
Dear Amy, Oh, how you have touched me. You overcame adversities as a child and God blessed you with a Mom who gave you geniune love. You have forgiven your birth mother's (shortcomings), so it's your choice what you decide to do. You were given no control over what she did, so try not feel any guilt toward whatever decision you make. Bless you Amy. What a wonderful lady you are! Love you and big ((hugs)) to you sweetlady. marcy |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
I'd like to extend my warmest and most sincere thanks to all of you who have read and replied to this poem. It was by far my hardest ever to write... the reasons why pretty much speak for themselves. It is with your love and understanding that I was able to actually not only write this out on paper but able to share it. I humbly thank each of you for your love and for always believing in me...a special thank you goes out to two very wonderful ladies...janet marie and holly. while all of the people at this site are simply amazing, it is because of the two of you that i was able to actually express these feelings. i love you all. take care. Love, ~amy~ [This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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