Open Poetry #10 |
A Storm is Raging |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A Storm is Raging The white sheet crumples sometimes and I see how it tells a story that is thrown about like a bad dream for when I turn to the glass it breaths time at me and I see how I have tossed and turned and like the bed that I remake day after day I am no longer new. The day is too dark to hang into the fragrance of the sun, you know, for a damp chill is in the air and winter approaches so, I will put a log on the fire and glow before it on the tapestry. I will watch it like clouds as it licks a story into the room and if I am lucky I will sip hot tea and linger in the steam a breath that releases the tangles of my heart for sometimes I cannot see past the curve where a storm is raging and my buoyancy falters. |
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© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Oh Martie, this is so beautiful!! -SEA |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
'I will watch it like clouds as it licks a story into the room and if I am lucky I will sip hot tea and linger in the steam a breath that releases the tangles of my heart' You have such a way with words Martie...beautiful jwesley |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and I see how I have tossed and turned and like the bed that I remake day after day I am no longer new. The day is too dark to hang into the fragrance of the sun, you know, ====================== for sometimes I cannot see past the curve where a storm is raging and my buoyancy falters. =================== are you standing outside me looking in... or inside me SCREAMING to get out..... damn......either way you just wrote me... nailed me and the way I am feeling of late this is scary...how close this all hits home you are awesome... so is this poem... impact...ya made it... see ya on the other side of the riptide .. take care sweet poet me |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
If anyone can weave metaphors into pictures of the heart with more beauty than you I do not know who that person is - this is magnificent - |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wonderful metaphors Martie and what a great ending ....just great writing...keep it up. I really enjoyed this very very much ... ethome |
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Highlander Member
since 2000-11-06
Posts 50Dundee, Scotland |
I second, the metaphor is quite appropriate, this is very nice, Martie |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sea--Thank you for the beautiful. Jwesley--thank you for letting me know you lked this. JM--I guess I was feeling a little blue..sorry you are too..hugs! Bill--Your enthusiasm overwhelms me...thank you. Ethome--I'm glad you liked the metaphors and the ending...thanks so much for letting me know. Highlander--welcome to Passions and thanks for the nice reply. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I will watch it like clouds as it licks a story into the room and if I am lucky I will sip hot tea and linger in the steam a breath that releases the tangles of my heart for sometimes I cannot see past the curve where a storm is raging and my buoyancy falters. I loved these thoughts, Martie beautiful writing ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sweetie~ I felt the blues in this ... and that's not a bad thing ! ! How gingerly you tossed the storm around, bouncing it off the walls, then retreating to the comfort of the hot tea. You are such a good, good poet, Martie. A joy to read your melancholy and another chance to send a heartfelt hug. I do. Love ya', sweet sis. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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azure Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 52 |
As with everything I've read of yours, this is so moving, so real you can almost touch it. Love your writing! Azure "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much" - Sandra Cisneros |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Martie what a well penned piece...so sad and lonely a piece and so very well written...well done sending my winged ~HUGS~ your way sweetie Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie- this is wonderful! definitely a touch of the blues here, but, as Marge has already said, that's not a bad thing. i just love your talent with words...AWESOME!! hugs, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wynter--Thank you for letting me know you liked this. Thanks for the hug Marge...now, can you send a little sunshine? Azure--thank you for touching me with your reply. Tracie--thanks hon, for the winged hug...I appreciate your sweet reply. Vicky--Awesome is one of my favorite words...thank you. |
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compassion Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135USA |
Martie, had to go looking for this one. One of my favorites..What you can do with thought(s)!! also, like the one @ plastic and environment, real good one too.. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Nicely written Martie..the title got me as there is a snow storm here in amarillo today christening the ground..enjoyed.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
buoyancy falters.. and the drowning begins... well done, Martie... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Martie-- wow! this one hit a little close to home for me this morning. the sheer beauty of this is magnificent. i have yet to read a poet who weaves images of everyday things so beautifully! i sincrely do mean that...you have a way with words lady and i stand in awe! take care. amy |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
For me to let the storm inside is to bring to me the revelation that all inside of me and all that I have lived is but a tiny part of all that I am capable of. I wander through the mist of rain and I sing to the call of many temptations but I shall always find the solice in the forced moods the quiet sensations the overcastings of nature dealt to me through the grace of God. ============ Love it my friend. Ya know I do. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ah, Martie... I seem to have lost my sunshine... and you've described the inner tempest so perfectly... great poem! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Compassion...thanks for looking for this...and for the comment about the plastic poem, I appreciate your interest and nice reply. Victoria--Snow...Oh my..that sounds very cold...I'm glad you liked my poem...thanks for the reply...hope you have a fire burning. Karilea--I'm not going to drown...the sun is shining today! Amy--thank you so much for such a lovely reply...you made me feel pretty special...thank you. Mark--I'm so glad to hear from you...what a lovely verse you have penned..makes me know that you are alright..take care. Southern--I hope you find your sunshine soon...look behind the cloud. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent expression, Martie! Denise |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Martie... I have an idea - lets go live on Mars where there is no air anyway whaddya say? The way you select your words...fit them together - so they all have their separate beauty, yet fit together. Like pearls perhaps. K The wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Superb writing, Martie Liz |
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