Open Poetry #10 |
Hearts on Wing |
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Here's one I've never posted in Open, as it's very "out of character" for me. I rarely write in free verse, and I more rarely write anything that isn't upbeat.... But - I do have to admit that life doesn't always happen as we plan it... and our loved ones don't ALWAYS do as we'd like them to.. But the good news is... They do, in fact, nearly always find their way home.. Fly off, my downy pigeon. Test your anxious wings. Depart your sheltered nest And learn what Unfettered prolusion may bare For you. Yet, veer not from the flanks Of the protective Homing fold, Lest your lone flight Finds you unapprised, Perched upon an insecure precipice Descrying inquisitively upon Delusive entreats from the Throes of nesting urbanity. Scintillating lights lure you Into dark corners Laden with cardboard blankets, And tandem benches host Hackneyed beguiling temptations Masquerading as apoplectic Bag dwellers with bulging sacks - Offering deceitful morsels To obediently kept flocks Which peck their way to Plumper lives - Wanting to suckle Your sweetness, only then to Cast you aside for Yet another acquiescent featherling. Your wanderlust and Wanton flight may find you In precarious skies Where one lone pigeon is Helplessly succulent prey for that Gracefully soaring Predatory hawk Soaring vulturously in wait To stalk you and impale you with Garish black talons, consuming you and devouring Your innocence. Beware, my sweet pigeon, Lest you waft astray and lose sight of the Safety of your homebound brood While a languishing Domestic nest revivifies its Imperviously embracing shield, A sanctuary for a contented and Sagacious aviant. Fly off, my sweet pigeon Fly off. Soar afar. Fly off. Alight within the Sanctity of home. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Though this may be "out of character" for you it certainly isn't beyond your talent This is truly breathtaking, Poetry at it's best [This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Yes, I remember this poem, which was deeply hidden somewhere in the workshop, and I loved it then and love it now. I don't know why this little pigeon took so long to come out into the light Remarkable poetry Liz |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ Your venture of free verse soars on wings of your heart. They may take flight but you are right - they do seem to know how to find home. May it always be so. This is wonderful, Nan. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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compassion Member
since 2000-11-01
Posts 135USA |
Nan, This is breathtakingly beautiful!!! I could write a page and not cover one square inch of what I'm left with after reading this. Now, I see why YOUR the teacher. Awesome. I have been fed for this day. |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Nancy - Perhaps out of character but when you write, it is all in character. As before, a master doth write, and very well indeed. BC |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nay, I would say 'tis a spreading of character's wings... softly taking flight always to know it's way home... and you should do this more often, my friend... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Nancy~ I think this is wonderful. It doesn't feel sad, more of a reasurance, that the bird can come home........ -SEA |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Nan* I've never ventured into free verse but reading this spectacular piece from you inspires me to atleast give it a try...the form was absolutely perfect for the subject that you speak of. Excellent work~ |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
i think you should right free verse more often..absolutely beautiful..i too usually write in rhyme..only once in a while i might write in free verse..enjoyed Nan.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Scintillating lights lure you Into dark corners Laden with cardboard blankets, hmmm great view you have given me..this was wonderfully descriptive and I love the graphic ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Nancy...this is awesome! A bird who hasn't flown free will never know the guide marks that show the way home... |
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Highlander Member
since 2000-11-06
Posts 50Dundee, Scotland |
this gives my pen flight. This is lovely verse. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Nan, hard it is to relinquish the strings that bind our kids home, but cut them we must, sooner or later, thought we stretch them to their limits first. Fly off in indeed, but do so with their parent's invisible thread attached to guide them home, and pick them up when they fall. Harder it is to watch them make mistakes (even though forewarned) because they so want to feel they know it all, and the clock has said they can do anything they want...not accepting that experience, or the lack there of, is a hard taskmaster. And...but I tend to ramble, particularly about things close to my heart, so enough said. Beautiful write my friend, deep feeling for children everywhere. jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 11-07-2000).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Letting go when you must but keeping the welcome mat ready... This is beautiful! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I so sincerely thank each and every one of you who has visited and read... But free verse is so... FREE... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
jwesley captured my sentiments and thoughts exactly, for I saw not the soaring avian's feather-beats as southward they flew, but the child soaring ever closer to adulthood, testing feather, feeling the freedom of wind, but oft unmindful of what hunters lurk amongst the reeds by the slaking water's merge. Nan, this 'attempt' was truly very well written, with an impacting message for teens and parents. Thanky for going out on a limb with your free verse. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Yet, veer not from the flanks Of the protective Homing fold, Lest your lone flight Finds you unapprised, Perched upon an insecure precipice Descrying inquisitively upon Delusive entreats from the Throes of nesting urbanity. Scintillating lights lure you Into dark corners Laden with cardboard blankets, And tandem benches host Hackneyed beguiling temptations Masquerading as apoplectic Bag dwellers with bulging sacks - Offering deceitful morsels To obediently kept flocks Which peck their way to Plumper lives - Wanting to suckle Your sweetness, only then to Cast you aside for Yet another acquiescent featherling. Your wanderlust and Wanton flight may find you In precarious skies Where one lone pigeon is Helplessly succulent prey for that Gracefully soaring Predatory hawk Soaring vulturously in wait To stalk you and impale you with Garish black talons, consuming you and devouring Your innocence. =============== well, you had me with the title alone.. and as for "not your usual" .. the truly gifted poet will not have a "usual" and you prove that point here... while we all have our fav way to write... and our comfort zone style... you have painted some amazing vivid images here... and defined strong emotions. hope too see ya stretch your poetic wings like this again... later-flying free verse gator jm |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The perfect theme to showcase in free verse. This is lovely, Nan! Denise |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This soars (pun intended) Nan - I really like this, the way it moves..and the things it says. Coolies! K The wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: WOW!!! there's so much in here...metaphors, levels, language usage... it's wonderful... i don't think i've ever read free verse from you and this one works well on so many levels... i'd love to read more of this type of verse from you damn, girl! thanks for a great read! makes me want to tear down my shields and learn to learn from the teachers who are all around us... you da bomb! - all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry - |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you again, my dear friends... This is an arena that isn't real comfy for me... |
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