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Open Poetry #10
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Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada

0 posted 2000-11-05 12:39 PM


Promises made, words of love spoken
"Believe in us baby", for this love is pure
"Dreams come true" you will see my love
All that lies ahead our love can endure

I was a cynic right from the start
heart scarred and broken, afraid to feel
But you broke my wall, I let you in
believed when you said, "I am for real."

Now I sit, reading your words
all you ever felt was a lie
You have fallen with another
With that you said Good bye

Am I not worth more then an e mail
after all we have shared?
Is this really happening?
I am in dis belief as I thought you cared

Are you that afraid, to hear my voice?
Are you that afraid to look in my eyes?
I deserve more then this......
I deserve for you to hear me cry.....

I am sickened at your cowardice
and how you have handled this
Time to grow up you say
But look at yourself and all of this.......

I wonder now if you were ever real?
Did you enjoy sucking every emotion from me?
Maybe you can use it in your writing......
All you give will come back, You will see........

I deserve more from you
I deserve more respect
I am seing your true colors now
Colors I detest.

Yet, here I lay, loving you still
needing you, feeling you, wanting you
What the hell is wrong with me?
Love....it makes you do things you can't believe.

Well, time to look at it, my heart
shaterred on the floor
Do you mind not steping on it......
as you walk out of loves door.

Time to pick it up
and see you for what you are
Time to be strong
and add to my list of scars

I will no longer be pathetic
love sick, frail,or weak
You don't deserve my tears
But Thanks, for making me think.....

How you look at yourself each day
this I will never know
Do you have self respect?
For the pain you be stow?

Circle of life I always say
is turning in your direction
all you give will come back
of that there is no protection.



[This message has been edited by Jenn E (edited 11-07-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jenn E - All Rights Reserved
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
1 posted 2000-11-05 01:27 PM


I am sorry for the pain your feeling
I believe that what goes around will
come back to bite him in the END!!!!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-11-05 01:39 PM


I think when you first meet someone it is so easy to say I Love you and sweet words to that effect and as the relationship grows and the realities of life settle in perhaps doubts start to arrive and at some point we stop and question all those feelings that we genuinely had but they were words that were easy to say and not as easy to prove...and perhaps we start questioning our own feelings and realize that love is very demanding....
and a relationship doesn't start with love...it needs to start as a friendship and perhaps the love will grow and perhaps not...hopefully we will give it time to grow...in truth most relationships should only be friendships and only a few will go beyond that....
Just my opinion...I don't have any answers..sorry this one didn't work out for you...you are definately not alone in your desire to find someone that cares for you and Loves you...James

Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
3 posted 2000-11-05 02:40 PM


It can only be TRUE love when it is shared by both people.  It takes trust,honesty and the strength to be one before someone can be two.
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2000-11-05 06:22 PM


I know if anyone had hurt my daughter this way, they would have ME to answer to.
Take care and YES, you do deserve more

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
5 posted 2000-11-05 11:48 PM


I just want to say Thnak you to all of you for your words of encouragement. I am not a little girl anymore nor am I nieve but I can say that the pain I feel is undescriable........

James, your words mean more to me then you can imagine. Thank you my friend.

Marina......yes, you are right.

All I know is time will heal and the things that don't break us make us stronger. I hope one day I can look back on this on an experience that has made me better one day.

Thank you All.......It is so NICE to be back.

Jenn E

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
6 posted 2000-11-05 11:48 PM


I just want to say Thnak you to all of you for your words of encouragement. I am not a little girl anymore nor am I nieve but I can say that the pain I feel is undescriable........

James, your words mean more to me then you can imagine. Thank you my friend.

Marina......yes, you are right.

All I know is time will heal and the things that don't break us make us stronger. I hope one day I can look back on this on an experience that has made me better one day.

Thank you All.......It is so NICE to be back.

Jenn E

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-11-06 12:05 PM


Jenn, there is a lot of pain and anger in this piece...
sometimes we wont know or understand the reasons of "why" things happen the way they do for a long time ...
yes it hurts like hell and sometimes that pain makes us want to hurt the other person back ....or perhaps we want to be angry because its easier to be mad than to hurt...
I understand..I have been there more times than i wish to count ...
but what I would like to say is..
just because it has ended badly...
and we feel left behind...
it doesnt mean that what we felt back at the begining wasnt real ...
it doesnt mean the things shared were all a lie or faked....
**dont let the pain of now...take away from the beauty of then** ...
I promise you...in time...as this heals ...
you will be able to look back on that time
and draw strength and smiles...
you just have to give your selves time to heal...
dont waste your heart on bitterness and payback ...
all that does is lock you into the pain and hurt longer...
move ahead and find your self new love and new inspiration..
take care, nice to see your name here.
jm

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-11-06 12:13 PM


Hey. Hugs.

My heart goes out to you. sighs...I wish I could say I wasn't a little girl, 'cause there is a part of me that definitely IS.
But I intend to protect her, y'know?

Double hugs to you tonight, because I DO know...dream sweet, Jenn.

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

9 posted 2000-11-06 12:55 PM


Hugs2You


No words from me... just friendly hugz

Coco

Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
10 posted 2000-11-06 04:10 AM


Jen, Sad poem and it hurts but you have the right attitude to take care, protect that part of you...time will heal & ((Hugs)) to you.  Marcy
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
11 posted 2000-11-06 04:55 AM


I agree, it's a long old road that doesn't have a turn in it...this will come back to haunt those that use such tactics. Well written poem!! I enjoyed the read   ethome
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
12 posted 2000-11-06 10:23 AM


Jenn--

you convey your emotions quite well
in this piece. a lot of anger and
sadness, but i understand the reasons
why. heed janet's advice...she gives
the best there is  . we all draw from
our experiences, even the ones that hurt
like hell! and they do end up making us a
better person if we can learn to let go and
move on. often times that is easier said
than done. unfortunately i know this pain
you speak of but i can promise ya...THE ONE
is out there for ya. and you will meet them
when you are least expecting to. take care
and hugs from my way to you.

~amy~  

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

13 posted 2000-11-06 10:36 AM


It's good to get this anger out from this betrayal...and you have a right to...and what goes around...

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox


Highlander
Member
since 2000-11-06
Posts 50
Dundee, Scotland
14 posted 2000-11-06 12:29 PM


You were obviously too much woman for him,
soon, you will write from a new love?
Think on that!

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2000-11-06 05:04 PM


My dear friend, I am so sorry for your pain and I do know that if he couldn't stand up like a man to you and do things right then it is because he knew that he was in the wrong.  I agree, you must have been too much woman for him.  You will find that love you deserve and you will come out of this shining one day.  I know this as I know of how special your heart to be.  Hugs to you my sweet friend.  Chin up, it is he who has lost in all of this not you my dear.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
16 posted 2000-11-06 09:52 PM


Good job describing the anger, mixed in with the love, and disappointment. I wish I could get this mad, you are right to be feeling like this, I hope he gets what he deserves too.
(speaking as one who knows this pain)
Sandra

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
17 posted 2000-11-07 02:08 AM


Janet*  Hi Thee You......Yes, I do feel left behind. As for your advice, " Don't let the pain of now...take away from the beauty of then"  I am trying so very hard, I really am.  I don't want to pay back or be bitter...it i s waste of my emotions. Of which, to tell you the truth, I am short on right now. I will try to take your advice....as for new love....The only person I want to love me right now is me...that way I know my heart will not  be broken.....Thank you so much for your words...they brought tears to my eyes...tears of hope that this will pass....and I will heal.

Serenity* Yes, protect we must....Thank you for the wish of sweet dreams. I am sure they will come one day..as time heals all.....

Coco*  I will take those hugs.....I will tell you, of all the things I feel I need right now, a hug is at the top of my list....

Marcy* Thank You....I am trying.....

Ethome* Thank You sweet one for your kind words........

Amy* I always heed Janet's advice, this i do...   Thank you. As for the "ONE" being out there for me...if such a man exists, He better come with a whole lot of explosives in his arsonal.......for it would take that and more to break through the walll I have now put up....LOl...Humour...somehow it helps....

Ron* Thank you for making me feel I have the right.......

Mark, Mark, Mark........
My gentle friend....How your words can even make a sad heart smile....My chin is up....and I am trying.......I am trying so hard every day....

Sandra* I feel bad that you understand as I don't wish this on anyone....but I feel alot less alone...Thank you

As emty and sad as I feel, comming here somehow has made me feel stronger.....Strength is a good thing......and so is being surrounded by so many kind people with warm hearts........THANK YOU EVERYONE.........I have needed the support......

Jenn E

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

18 posted 2000-11-07 07:20 AM


Hugs...hugs

I understand.

Writing out the pain helps doesn't it?

Be well.

K

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
19 posted 2000-11-08 01:31 AM


Severn,
Thank you. Yes, writing out the pain does help...........I have to thank "HIM" for that.....for he is who I learnt it from......In fact, he has enriched my life in many good ways.......Writing, crying.....it all helps in the end.  Thanks again for your comment.
Jenn E

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