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Open Poetry #10
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The Silence of This Room
| Open Poetry #10 |
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The Silence of This Room |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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My mind is drifting up past the canopy of truth I hear your voice a calling the fire light is bright in the murmur of the room I see your soft eyes smiling If I could only have you here to steal some time from you just one answer to my prayers in the silence of this room. The light is growing bright in the shadows of my mind my smoke is slowly lifting. I see again between the flames upon the wall the look of love you send me. If you could only know I care and you were lonely too I'd be so happy with you here in the silence of this room. The fire is dying now my thoughts are growing dim the ghost of you is lifting my evening drink spills upon my whiskered chin my mind is slowly quitting. but if I could only have you here to breathe a sigh or two then I would'nt be in tears in the silence of this room. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ This poignant write consumes my thoughts. You've touched upon the silence and given it life. 'If you could only know I care and you were lonely too I'd be so happy with you here in the silence of this room.' Marvelous feelings here. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Ethome~ You have expressed yourself so well here in this lonely and longing piece ~HUGS~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
You know, this reads like a song to me, and one I have found myself singing lately. I like the gentleness here as you manage to convey the feeling of sad longing without flooding into bitterness. Very nice, almost a sweetness to the feel of it. Thank you for the chance to read it ~ Rainydays |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
E-- this was poetry in motion. you have penned a very beautiful poem even though it is traced with sadness and longing. thank you so much for sharing a deep part of yourself. your work always reflect a depth of feeling that makes me smile. take care. amy  "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The light is growing bright in the shadows of my mind my smoke is slowly lifting. I see again between the flames upon the wall the look of love you send me. If you could only know I care and you were lonely too I'd be so happy with you here in the silence of this room. The fire is dying now my thoughts are growing dim the ghost of you is lifting my evening drink spills upon my whiskered chin my mind is slowly quitting. but if I could only have you here to breathe a sigh or two then I would'nt be in tears in the silence of this room. ================== Ethome....this is exceptional writing... you have defined longing and sound of loneliness ... it took me a bit to get used to reading you with out your gift of rhyme.... but it did not take away from this excellent writing for one second. later-touch-me-with-your-words-gator jm |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This was a heart rendering piece, and so extremely poignant it made it hard to read. ~soft hugs~ D |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
This is a wonderful poem, written extremely well and emotions felt! now, if I can lighten the mood for a moment..let me say, you could not contain all the women in your poetic room, had you added a rendition of "You Don't Know Me" .. keep writing, soon you'll be calling for help!! Marcy |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
~~sighing ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Ahh my man, you have not lost one bit of your touch and this piece is one of my favorites of yours. You have managed to show the tender caring and longing of a love that is searching to find it's way home. Excellent write my friend. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Marge for your kind words always good to hear from you. Thank you tracie66 for taking the time to read I really appreciate it. Rainydays I like that name...don't be suprised if something I write sounds like a song...I write a lot of lyrics...played in a band years ago...thanks so much for taking the time to read. Aimster thank you for those comments about depth...you know all about that because that's the way you write...I appreciate those fine comments. Oh my old poet pal Janet Marie have you ever been active since I've been gone...and the insightful poets on this board are treating you with the respect you deserve....some of the things you are doing are Vantastic...thanks for your kind words I appreciate them so much. Gentle Spirit that is such a soft title and so fitting for a poet...thank you for being so kind and stopping in to read. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so much Alle'cram I often write in a lyrical mode. The song you mentioned written by Eddy Arnold 'You Don't Know Me' is one of my favourites too ...thanks for stopping in for the read...much appreciated. thank you nakdthoughts much appreciated. Thanks Mark I've read a couple of yours lately and I have to say the same about you..thanks for the comments..ethome... |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
So beautiful, it makes my heart ache!!! Pepper "I honor the place in you, that when you are in that place, and I am in that place in me, we are in the same place" Ram Dass |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you pepper for the heartache I really appreciate it....ethome |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'If I could only have you here to steal some time from you just one answer to my prayers in the silence of this room.' Wow. I loved this and could DEFINITELY relate to it!! Great poem!! sp Do not go where the path may lead, but instead, go where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you very much snowpants for your kind words and for taking the time to read....ethome |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
ethome- I can pay you no higher comliment than to say 'I wish I'd written it myself!' so just let me add that I echo all the sentiments already posted about this beautiful poignant piece |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
THis is an extraordinary poem, which draws the reader right into the situation. A very well phrased verse of stark reality. In great admiration Liz |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
ethome, this is so beautifully written, perfect form and flow, and full of truth. I really like this, and excellant poem, truly super. Take care Mushy Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ethome--This is so true of how lonliness decends sometimes and covers before it lifts again...wonderful writing as always! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes its amazing how a candlelight and the right woman can make a room glow in anticipation...James |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
((warm Hugs)) can relate on this one....you have expressed your feelings in an excellent piece, penned from the heart...loved it. Charisma |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"canopy of truth" is without a doubt, an absolutely breathtaking methaphor, and the rest of the poem is done very, very well. Good job! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Wilfred for the compliment I take it as wondeful praise coming from such a fine poet as youself. Thank you Elizabeth I'm still thinking about that wondeful poem you wrote...Pop The Cork Marsha thanks for taking the time to read I really appreciate it. Martie it's so good to hear from you again thanks for taking the time to read....ethome jmlee12345 thanks for reading I know waht you mean about that kind of setting and you're right. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very nicely written, Ethome! Denise |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you very much Charisma for your comments I really appreciate them Thanks Irish Rose for the remark about the metaphor and you additional comments much appreciated... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
thanks you very much dsnyder for taking the time to read, I appreciate your comments. |
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