Open Poetry #10 |
Driven By The Ache |
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~Driven by the Ache~ Embered spark from cigarette, blue glow of dashboard lights. CD track changes ... As I drive on into the night. I'm headed south once again, with thoughts of you on my mind. For just one taste of your intensity ... I swear ... I'd leave this all behind. Summer's night humid, breeze ... cant cool the need I feel for you within. If I just keep on following this white line ... will it lead me Heaven's gate or Hell's sweet sin. So I drive on into the darkness ... swearing at the neon moon. For ever giving you to me ... then for taking you away too soon. We wanted love to finds us, but obligation found us first. Blame it on midnight ... Shame on the moon for temptations curse. It's not the destination, it's about where I've never been. It's about what I'm always doing without ... and this constant ache beneath my skin. To just once be touched like this ... tonight I'd drive straight thru. Don't need any directions, tonight all my roads lead straight to you. (don't need no "stinking maps") (I'm already lost in the depths of you) Janet Marie ************* Shame on the Moon Bob Seger Until you've been beside a man You don't know what he wants You don't know if he cries at night You don't know if he don't When nothin comes easy Old nightmares are real Until you' ve been beside a man You don't know how he feels Once inside a woman's heart A man must keep his head Heaven opens up the door Where angels fear to tread Some men go crazy Some men go slow Some men go just where they want Some men never go Oh blame it on midnight ooooh shame on the moon Everywhere it's all around Comfort in a crowd Strangers faces all around Laughin right out loud Hey watch where your goin Step light on old toes Cause until you've been beside a man You don't know who he knows Oh blame it on midnight Oh shame on the moon blame it on midnight shame on the moon |
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© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Janet~ That was so intense and painful. I could see someone driving down the road, lonely and by herself, with the moon shining down. It hurt to read that and feel the loneliness and longing. So very sad. I like the song too. Elizabeth Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near... [email protected] |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
I am hearing you with this one girl!!! This message is loud and clear to me. I think your muse has most definitely returned. Another fatasic write Jan. Are you still on parole?? LOL Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey Babes!!! This is great imagery, great poetry....I know YOU know, I love the last two lines...and next time, ask for directions, you should have been here yesterday!!! Hugs and winks, e ya later, m'girl...(nothing to do but go through it) |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Since when did you start smoking girlie....now put that butt down. Wonderful to see your muse in force once again but I do need to ask you where your parole papers are. I recall the papers only being a weekend pass. You know I love this one my friend and you know that the last lines had to stay. Now exactly how far south are you going. Take 59 south to Kingwood DR. then go east....LOL.... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: your are a poetess, ms. JM... and this lyric sings my tune... love the seger... you have too many good lines in here to quote ... please keep this writing style up... it is YOU... later and hugs JMpoetgater *wink* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet...Wow, girl...talk about intensity...you got it...I don't think you should be driving after such a love injection, but the heart will go where the heart will go. I Love this Poem!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Elizabeth...thank you..i was going for intense and the draw of the need ... I guess it is sad...the desperation... others said that to me when I first wrote it but i wasnt sad when writing it...promise Marina ...i knew youd relate... and what do you mean by "parole" ??? why I have NO CLUE what your talking about (me thinks AWOL is more like it) shhhhhh dont tell the warden (hehe) I"ll deny being here LOL thanks for the read Sen...or is that THELMA?? hehe well Im sorry i was almost there and then there was this hitch-hicker and ERRRRRRR...nevermind YOU KNOW... keep the gumbo hot baby...im almost there and yes ... you and Mark convinced me to keep the two lines I was unsure of... YOU GUYS always get your way.. Im too easy ....LOL Mark.. dont be telling me where to put my butt ... and as for the smoking its a bad habit i picked up hanging around cowboys LOL NOT!!!!! you know that line was poetic license...cause I dont indulge in that BAD habit...(one of the few I dont) LOL and did you really think i would go back to rehab on my own... actually..think of it as a extended weekend *stomping feet* NO NO NO..ya gotta catch me. and you know Im coming to see ya... ya promised to play that guitar for me (or is this a ploy to put me back in rehab chains) your a tricky cowboy warden ...*winkie winkie* Dor ....WOW thank you girl.. YOU know how i respect your writing so a reply like this from you makes my day.. yes everytime I write in this format and style..somone tells me that... i save it for my "ache" series LOL Martie..well come on down to me and ride with me...well have a blast.. get on your bad motor scooter and ride thanks gators kiss kiss [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 09-26-2000).] |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Janet~ yes its your #1 fan reporting in again LOL. well what can i say about this one? I LOVED IT...that's what! ) you're on a roll girl. keep on writing sweetie...and i'll along with many others keep on reading. amazing jan simply amazing, you are. love ya, amy "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey fellow butterfly... your captured emotion is captured well.. this aches...in an introspective, intense way. Something I think you were trying to achieve? Well, yeah, you succeeded hon. K "He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Jan, Jan, Jan...I can certainly relate to this one girl....Man, Oh, man do I know that feeling? (sigh) Perfect imagery in this one too (trust me I know) Later-mind reading-gator |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
you have me thinking of the times I drove well into the night: Endicott to Buffalo, or Buffalo to Detroit or Harrisburg to Wilmington (different loves different years) you write with an intensity I find so beautifully impressive - I wish you well ~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning. ~ Billy Wilder |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Janny~ What a fabulous piece, I love this very much. This piece is so different to your usual style but none the less fantastic....well done Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Wonderful writing! I was captivated Hope to see more Liz |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Fabulous writing this is Janet, very well expressed! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This entire poem is a good one - but the finale is exceptional!!.. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Daaaaaang girl!!! This is awesome...you know couldn't wait to reply to this one when it saw the light of Passions...and I'm still saying my good-byes so I still get a chance too like you could stop me from reading your work...sheesh Love it sweets...going to put it on a CD and crank it and just drive....yep that's what I'm gonna do..the last lines....well you know Love ya!! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I was on that byway In the pale moonlight You took up all the highway. Hogging the white line. I flashed my lights real fast, As I swerved hard to the right. But you went right on past, As if you'd lost your sight. I now understand the why And I understand the how. You're lucky when you went by That I wasn't a deer or cow. ---------- On a more serious note, Janet - this poem cries out for love. Wonderfully written. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I've been on a few of those drives myself... *S* This is great! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JanetMarie~ Great write ... now look in your rearview mirror ... OH .. NO ! Whew ! That was close ... but it's just some cowboy with a badge ! Shoot ... well ... not shoot ... but shucks ... we can take him ! Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Janet, the intensity in each verse in the expression you have penned just leaves this reader at keyboard in awe. I can't believe I didn't catch this one when you first posted it, so I apologize for my tardiness. Now, how does one dim those darn foglites... Oh I remember now, it's that switch hidden below that other one! Smiles2UAlways Coco [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 11-06-2000).] |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Just wanted to put this one in my library. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Ok, guess that it didn't make it into my library the first time, so here goes. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
How in the hell did you get in my mind long enough to write this? I don't know whether to praise you or damn you for putting it into words... I'll praise you....I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ seems this ache thing is spreading.........I know it so well.......Amazing poem........loved every word! -SEA |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thank you ALL for these great and way cool replies...Im sorry...I had not realized till sweet Coco brought this old one up that I had missed saying thank you to the latter replies SO THANK YOU ... I appreciate all of these kind replies and knowing how we all relate to the ache ..... you guys know me...Im not happy unless Im headed south later-me-south-paw-gators lol jm |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey JM this is a great lonely drive you got going here. That trip down south to hook up with a distant but intense lover. A love that left a huge mark on the heart but was put to rest because the time was'nt right...oh yeah I wonder how many million can relate to this great poem!!! Very very good JM I could hear the music in the background that old bluesy on the lonely road stuff......write on!!! |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Guess I'll try and squeeze in down at the bottom here...mmmm-mmmmmmp----mmmmMMMPHHH! There, I'm in! Wow, JM, just WOW! Lived in every word. jwesley |
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Highlander Member
since 2000-11-06
Posts 50Dundee, Scotland |
I am enthralled by the fine poetry I've been reading and the most beautiful ones by the lovely ladies in this forum. I believe I like it here. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
'your intensity' and then 'Some men go crazy Some men go slow Some men go just where they want Some men never go' fodder here for another poem methinks Thanks JM (what would I do without you?) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thank you guys...VERY much ... Balladeer..theres no where I d rather by than inside your head and Ethome...exactly..... and Will....whats that old saying... fools go where angels fear to tread JW....there is ALWAYS room for kind words and wows... Highlander...welcome and yes...you will enjoy it here...... thanks to ALL for the fun replies and to Elizabeth ...thank you for coming back and for including me in your library... your such a sweetie jm |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
JM, you don't need me in here telling you what a wonderful piece you have here... but I'm telling you anyway... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
God, I love this, thank you for some much needed strength and inspiration! Kathleen--(Kay) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow! can I understand too well! |
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