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Open Poetry #10
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A Relative Moment
| Open Poetry #10 |
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A Relative Moment |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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Temporal father where is your healing hand? I await the unwaiting supposed avenger of bloodless hearts Wise counselor (if indeed you are) adviser of fools you simply pass by spent on yesterday invested in tomorrow still I wait Your pleasing is relative to nobody uncaring caller of cadence marching into oblivion those you enslave Petrified vapour at odds with eternity at peace with nothing excepting your own passage disappearance being your only concern Leaving me behind |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
you write free verse very well Jamie..i have a hard time trying not to rhyme..  ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
Excellent, as usual. And thank you for the advice, and the suggestion which I used. Thanks again. Ron Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Where indeed? I love this: "Your pleasing is relative to nobody uncaring caller of cadence marching into oblivion those you enslave" Sounds like my boss! " |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Jamie* The depth and power in this piece is awesome...you ask some tough questions that echo many voices wish I knew who had the answers that you crave...excellent work~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Petrified vapour at odds with eternity at peace with nothin excepting your own passage disappearance being your only concern Leaving me behind Absolutely wonderful Jamie, I love the way you free verse  Maree |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Your only concern leaving me behind..... Those words struck a chord inside as I read. This is very powerful free verse, Jamie, very powerful indeed!!  Follow your dream! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Your pleasing is relative to nobody uncaring caller of cadence marching into oblivion those you enslave Petrified vapour at odds with eternity at peace with nothing excepting your own passage disappearance being your only concern Leaving me behind =============== very cool piece of poetry here... unique vocabulary choices give it-its impact as do the strong emote of the emotions excellent writing (do i see some of DA's poetry style inspiring you) thats the gift of this place...the influence of each others poetry jm |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
I like your way of writing either, it's not really a rhyme, but you give it power, and depth this way. I like this poetry from you. well done. Charisma |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Oh what questions deserving of an honest answer......from all the worldly profanity that strikes there is little compensation for no answers and no contact....in the stream of consciousness waiting to get connected is a hard wait..yes yes what a great way to express these feelings...excellent!! take care....ethome |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks for the wonderful replies everyone. And to all the people who helped it along in CA.....even our friend from that Sceptred Isle.... Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Prometheus, an amazing timely piece with such heart and healing from you. Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thank you very much Kethry...I am glad you liked it. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
J - I phillaud this, I really do. It has quite emotioned me, in fact...I think honestly that it is vidvitvoc.. considering that I need this: Temporal father where is your healing hand? We always do have to wait yes? For everything...and in the process are quite frequently left behind... hugs K The wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Well, It isn't a satpsyce but it is appreciated...lol Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
As it has all been said, I will just say, I agree, this is a powerful and complex writing. Sandra |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Excellent as always... Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Sandra- Marina-- Thanks, ya'll are nice ta say that. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Prometheus, just stopping by to echo aloud what PoetFriends above have already expressed... EXCELLENT WRITE Coco |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
So powerful, I can only echo what's been said before Pepper "I honor the place in you, that when you are in that place, and I am in that place in me, we are in the same place" Ram Dass |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I can relate... which I suppose is a little tragic. Powerfully penned, Jamie. Excellent. ~ Beth |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Coco - Pepper - Beth, Thank so very much for the kudos. And Beth, really not tragic at all I don't think. It is simply living and learning, and learning to live. Thanks again. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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