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Open Poetry #10
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done, undone...
| Open Poetry #10 |
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done, undone... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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my simple heart my gift to you asking nothing in return again again I made amends again again I felt the burn dancing too close to the fire entranced by just a single spark... tonight I kick the stones away a bellow's laughter taking dark. what a fool to think that one simple coal could warm my blood I dare a torch of mighty flare I dare to wish the done, undone... |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Sad and powerful. We often wish to undo what has already been done. Elizabeth You cling to your ways and leave mine to me. Suum cuique. ~Elizabeth |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Ah yes.... Dancing to close to the fire, and how easy it is to get burned! What a great poem this is in meaning and form....I loved it, and I am going back for seconds!!  Follow your dream! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ I still have scars from dancing too close to a fire of my long ago......they hurt... Your words are perfect!  -SEA |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
again again I made amends again again I felt the burn dancing too close to the fire entranced by just a single spark... tonight I kick the stones away a bellow's laughter taking dark. what a fool to think that one simple coal could warm my blood I dare a torch of mighty flare I dare to wish the done, undone... ==================== so your pulling out the EXTRA STRENGTH MIRRORS for me now huh?  jeeeze baby....why dont ya just call this the moth anthem... *sigh* ... Im still trying to figure out if its matter of coming undone ... or my own undoing...yeah yeah ... YOU KNOW ...that I KNOW....yadda yadda... I hear avon has a sale on singe proof mascara and chapstick  Ya just need to be kissed for this one... love ya me |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Serenity, burns doesn't it, and it hurts like hell. Still there's one consolation I'll never play with that fire again. This is such a well written poem I really love this. Take care Mushy Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Serenity, would a bonfire do? I could burn Atlanta! Name it! I've got lots of matches |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Spectacular poem! God, do I know this feeling. You spoke this so well. Sandra |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Serenity how are ya!! This one's powerful and honest with a flavor of anger under the hurt...Great writing girl I just loved it!! Take care.......ethome |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I love the way you write..honest..bare bones....just tell it like it is! This is excellent!  |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
think we can all relate on this one, you translate your feelings very well. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
whoa...you guys are GREAT...wish I had time to thank each one of you...and I will...sorry for being a pop-in... Thank you all...and catch ya later... |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love.  Rich |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love. Rich |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love. Rich |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Serene is it something that you really want undone or is it just a different result that you seek? Sometimes we learn from places that we wish not to learn from or expect to learn from, yet theres a lesson there anyway. you have a shoulder should you need it love. Rich |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you so much, Rich. as always, it means much to me. And when you're right, I'm right. I am definitely learning. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-02-2000).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Serenity, I saw this before and thought I responded, oh well now 's as good a time as any. I loved this. It had so much feeling and passion with just the tiniest touch of regret. ecxcellent write Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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