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Too Painful...
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Too Painful... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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Too Painful (for cerenity) Wondering whether to feel again, think again, share again, when never understanding what it is that guides me, rules my every movement, questions the world around me. Why is it the answers are never there, not within, never touching me from without, anymore. I wish, Oh how I wish, but for these thoughts, I would be dead. Yet, I will no longer release nor will I share, that which is real to me. For all my thoughts are now, too painful. It starts high and moves throughout front to back, stinging at times. Those words... of misunderstandings. An aching, from the heart that feeds the soul, or the hunger inside, that gnaws and succumbs to the turmoil outside. Whichever it is, waiting for it to dissipate is almost as painful, as the pain itself. So painful, are my thoughts that wrap my heart in meaningless hurt, that I shall now remain deaf, to those whose lips enjoy the taste of venom. ~Wynter Bliss [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (edited 11-01-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Maybe this title was too strong and I shall change it...it was meant to be an understanding of cerenity's pain. ~Wynter |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Wynter, No the title is just fine perfect in fact, you have done a awesome job here of explaining how I feel and actually better than I, because you could say it without fear or rejection. I to the naked eye am too most a loving person and that is true, I care for all to the point of putting my soul in jeopardy, my empathy for others is very high. This empathy is a large part of my essences and my trust in people I take for face value, loving each and everyone of them with the greatest of care. The person, my ex whom I forgave freely when he chose my dearest friend over me and our three beautiful children, and so freely throw away sixteen years of marriage is the one I spoke of. Now after me trying Everything to keep good relations between the now two familys he desides to be blatenly ugly just because he can, and I for the life of me can not understand this or except it! I am a adult and can get over this and put it in its proper place but the children do not know how to do this and they are so very hurt by it. I guess it make it worse because I still care a great deal for the both of them and have taken much (Rude word here) CRAP for it by others, saying why in the world do you not hate them, and all I can say is I wish I could hate someone, believe me I have tried. All my life up intell a few mounths ago when a dear friend, Sven explained why I feel the way I do about people and why I care for them so much, even when they have proved beyond a shadow of dout to be ugly I still care, its called empathy and has made my life so much better because now I know why and actually can handle things in a clearer light. Now that I have told the world alot more than I probley should of, I want to tell you that this poem I shall keep forever and you were so loving for writing it and I am glad you did because you said things so very perfectly thank you. By the way I have been wantint to tell you that I love your name Wynters Bliss just beautiful. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Wynter, this is excellent. . . you've done a good job with this one. . . ----------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Cerenity, I too have empathy and cannot hate...I am in the midst of abandonment after many years and yet I want to remain friends. How can you toss aside a lifetime of loving? Not I. But I have been told and I have read up on things, that the other person involved must try to get you to hate them so their guilt is lessoned. So they can have a reason for going on knowing the pain and hurt they have caused. Not that I like to whine to my mother at this stage in life, but she (was married over 50 years before my dad passed away) said to me he will find all kinds of excuses for having left me. Blame me for things 5 years ago, ten years ago, for losing confidence in him..when it was he who lost it in himself...so, yes I understand where you are coming from and yes you have a very good friend in Sven. Friends are those who stick by you in your times of greatest need and don't try to tell you that you don't own the rights to pain, as some have told me...or told me I am not the first nor the last to go through a divorce and to stop pitying myself. I can't imagine that my husband can toss away many, many years of friendships and my family accepting him as one of them, for a false love of someone younger but if that makes him happier, so be it, but I don't like the feelings of hatred that he tries to well up inside of me, and some days I have to go away for a whole day to be out of the area because I don't like the nightmares I am beginning to have from his nasty, hateful words of his trying to make me hate him. huggz thank you for the the words about my name...and thank you to Sven for being there for you. wishing only happiness for you and your children.. ~Wynter Bliss "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
HI Wynter Bliss, I just wanted to thank you for your responce to mine and also I wanted to keep this in my library, have a wonderful day. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
~Smiles for you, cerenity~ |
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