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silent dream
| Open Poetry #10 |
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silent dream |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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my life-long friend got married today- i stood up for his bride such deep devotion that they share- i couldn't help but cry their vows were spoken from the heart- no script or prompting needed i wonder if he knows each word she said my heart repeated she truely loves him from her soul- she'll cherish him i know but can he see deep in my heart my love for him still grows my life-long dream was silenced today in their romantic bliss and as i looked into his eyes his bride stole my last kiss -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 09-25-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Love and loss, captured in an excruciating moment... Ouch. HUGS? (smile) |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
such a hurtful situation. i empathize with your words greatly. a well penned verse of wishing on falling stars. Everyone's got their demons. We all got somethin' to atone for. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
well written, especially enjoyed the ending lines. |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Oooo Owie, how painful. May you find your way to happiness. Hugs ~Sheri |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
very good tricks! i like the changes  this is a sad situation to be in....but youve written it wonderfully... hugs, dg theres no such thing as a failure who keeps trying--coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace. -j popper |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Serenity- Thank you so much for your caring reply. I appreciate you. Ethan- Thanks so much for the kind words. Glad you liked this. Mike- Really glad you enjoyed this...however, I must give credit where credit is due... my friend, dgvarner, was kind enough to give this a gentle critical analysis for me, and as a result, the ending lines were greatly influenced by her. The last line is actually just as she suggested. She was generous enough to let me use it. Thanks for the response. Sherie- Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I appreciate your kindness. dg, buddy, pal  First off, I must send to you a hearty 'THANK YOU!' I really appreciate you helping me out with this one, when I just couldn't find the right words...and thank you for the closing line...I really love it. This poem would not be complete without the input you gave. Thanks again! (((((HUGS))))) LOVE YOU ALL! -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Vickie, Ouch to your heart . . . that must have been a tough one to watch and be a part of. Hang in there, one day you will find the one that is waiting for you!! He is out there!! Such aching and conflict in this one. NIce writing.Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Vicky~ My friend ... it's perfectly done. Glad DG was able to help. I like it lots. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
their vows were spoken from the heart- no script or prompting needed i wonder if he knows each word she said my heart repeated =========== oh my...this is heart tugging... the ache lifts off the page you've expressed these painful emotions with poetic grace take care jm |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
...nope, the last line is yours my friend i gave you a suggestion only, you made it into a masterpiece  credit is due to you! but i'll take it only as having HELPED you find the right words  big hugs, dg theres no such thing as a failure who keeps trying--coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace. -j popper |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Lone Wolf- This actually happened about 6 months ago, and it has taken me this long to be able to put the feelings on paper. Was a tough time, but I'm ok now. Thanks so muchfor your concern and the encouraging words. Glad you like this. Marge- Thanks, friend. Really glad youenjoyed this one. Janet Marie- Thank you so much for the sweet response. Glad you like this. dg- awe...thanks friend. really gladyou like this, and yes, you definitely HELPED. thanks so much for yourgenerous input. (((((HUGS)))))LOVE YOU ALL, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Vicky ... such bittersweet agony for a heart to bare. Incredible emotions you've placed to paper. To read after, that this was from personal experience, makes it clear why you were able to express these feelings so vividly. This really touched me ... hugs to you! Best wishes, /Kit |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Kit- Thank you so much for the sweet reply. Your kindness touches my heart. Glad you enjoyed this. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Vicky, this is a sad but tender verse. I know it hurts but in friendship you will have his heart always. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
I read this poem twice it simply is written with grace unveiling the emotion of joy N loss my goodness this really touched my heart... Thank you for sharing this... Coco |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Mark- Thank you so much for the comforting words. You are so right. We have literally known each other since he was born, and I have no doubt that we will remain friends forever. CocoBaci- Thanks so much for your kind response. Really glad this touched you. love ya both, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
((huge warm hug)) wish you strength, feel your tears in your poem..... Charisma |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Charisma- Thanks so much for the tender reply. This actually happened a while back, but the feelings still pop up from time to time. Glad you liked this. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Vicky...thank you for sharing something so very personal...and with such a past... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ouch...just ouch |
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