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Open Poetry #10
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The Awakening
| Open Poetry #10 |
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The Awakening |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle 
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The Awakening The light will be drawn to the least densely spaced, in thickened expanse of the clouds overhead, be drawn through the mist like a finely tuned song and rain its notes lightly; make gold hues and reds sprout from brown curling leaves lying dry in massed beds. The light will reach nooks through crevices drawn, into walls deeply carved on massive rock cliffs from the slow, timely fall of cool spring quickly sprung. Its abrupt release raising life to the sprig, unflowered and withered ‘til touched, the cold ceasing, now warm, lazy crawl. The light undisguised French kisses the dew, is gathered in pools, and pieces of peace are pilfered discreetly by buzzing of bee 'round gaping bowl of teacup-shaped petals. Is taken and dropped, one by one, to the next and soon, very soon, will find its way to you. ...chanson~ Music, tonal clear & pure, Caresses the harshest of curves. -me, Song of Gesture |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dorene M. Harris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
God, its beautiful. i do see the light. Ron |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Hi Ron. Thank you!!! I'm happy you enjoyed it  ...chanson~ Music, tonal clear & pure, Caresses the harshest of curves. -me, Song of Gesture |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I like the way you expressed yourself in this poem, Although the rhyme ‘spaced’ with ‘bed’ is a bit of a stretch, And my preferences is for consistent lengths under ten syllables. Overall an enjoyable read. Gloom |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
'Spaced' and 'bed' are not supposed to rhyme. I agree it would be a stretch. I deliberately didn't put the rhyming at the end of each sentence where the usual place for rhyme occurs. 'Densely' is the rhyme for 'bed', again, not obvious but the flow and rhythm hasn't been compromised. Though the eye may not recognize it, the mind comprehends. Thank you for your thoughts. < !signature--> ...chanson~ Music, tonal clear & pure, Caresses the harshest of curves. -me, Song of Gesture [This message has been edited by chansondegeste (edited 10-26-2000).] |
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