Open Poetry #10 |
You Said My Mind Was Walking Away |
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
You Said My Mind Was Walking Away I slipped again from the stage, I snuck out the back when it came time to face up and be, alive, for all of you,... why did I have to live for you, where did the meaning go? See, it's me in here, surrounded by the beauty of created ways, of your life on stage, with me, down here in skies flying but grounded. I've uncovered the face, the words swallowed in script, of plays on when and slid out of skins far too congested to be alive, for all of you. All I asked for was a weakness, taken, exorcised from cavities aloud no control, finally alive, for me. You said my mind was walking away, and that I, wasn't right behind. I eluded myself when I lived like that, I captured your outside. And you told me that times, they always change and that I, was always a step ahead or behind, never there where it all took place, a new face, worn, washed for the minutes. Acknowledging you, only made it Real, I allowed it to be, serene for you, not me, and now, it's a storm, surrounding my silence, a vortex, twirling. All those nights, when waters were high, I screamed for you and I, for purging and boulders, for throwing it all, down, away, taken by the current, so strong, tired,... of living this way. |
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© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
SpitFire~ It seems to me someone does not appreciate you at ALL!! this felt very sad to me...but definately a great write! -SEA |
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Ron K. Fox Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925 |
I feel that lost connection. the narrow miss of the heart. Well done. Ron |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This is such a powerful piece...and like Sea says...you sound unappreciated... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hey there, want to join me in beating our heads against the wall? This is one of your many poems that gave me chills as I read it. The further in you go, the deeper it gets. Great writing. Hope you are ok..I know these feeling inside out.. Sandra |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Indeed...I think there's something going around...loved it, lady...More later...want to think on this some more... |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Well, they do say that that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!! This is so well done....never settle for less than you obviously deserve. Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
taste of a bittersweet love. hear you, your sadness and your unappreciated feelings, as other told here earlier. take care Charisma |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
A - ... <-- an ellipsis, 'cause I don't know what to say. This is so powerfully sad that I want to reach out and hug you! The layers in this piece are many, and I'm sure I've not seen them all. I'll partially agree that you should never settle for less than you deserve... but I also think that there's an ending to every storm. (((HUGZZ))) C |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Thank you sweet people! *Sea, thanks for thinking and saying. *Ron, nice ta meet ya, and thank you for your time. You pretty near nailed it. Thank ya. *Paula, thank you gurl for stopping in on me and for the powerful. *Oh Sandra, didn't you know I've been here doing that with you the whole time? hehe. You're awesome. Thanks for understanding. *Serenity, ok...and thanks for peeking. . *Peppermint, nice to meet you, and thank you kindly for your words. *Charisma, thank you for hearing me. *Chris, YOU for once DON'T know what to say? Hmm. No sa! Thanks for coming by and for your theory 'bout the storms. *Peace People. |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
SpitFire, Excellent writing! emotions & situations expressed and felt. Charged! ..think this is my first time to read you & wow! Marcy |
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