Open Poetry #10 |
The Courage of Birds |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The Courage of Birds The sky was smoky like burning coal spreading wisps around the top of the mountain and the birds were acrobats in formation against the charcoal air where they would turn one way then another one side white the other gray a magic that turned them into sky then back to bird and the mountain was the color of the bottom of the ocean when green is almost black and around it I could see the storm coming felt it build as you turned away turned with your needle to stitch the sky to this minute in sweeping threads of pain and my palms were turned sideways resting on a current of air avoiding your desperation And the tension exploded in my path where I saw your blue eyes filled and erupting and your hair ruffled from doubt and I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold something that you found in desperation that opened the sky where I saw the birds whole and perfect in a flash of clarity and when you turned I wrote your wisdom on my truth To get out of the dark takes a flash of insight and the courage of birds. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-21-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Martie, I am definately in the dark now...thanks for the insight, as always |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Martie- "and my palms were turned sideways resting on a current of air avoiding your desperation" "where I saw your blue eyes filled and exploding ... with the smallest thread of gold something that you found in desperation that opened the sky where I saw the birds whole and perfect ... and when you turned I wrote your wisdom on my truth ... To get out of the dark takes a flash of insight and the courage of birds" Incredible - just loved the way you did this simply fantastic!!! IP: Logged © Copyright 2000 < !signature--> We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us... how we can take it, what we can do with it [This message has been edited by Wilfred Yeats (edited 10-21-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ The storm passes and the clearing sky holds much light - 'I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold' 'To get out of the dark takes a flash of insight and the courage of birds.' You're a remarkable woman ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
passing shadows--darkness, light..I guess they are all a part of life. Bill--I'm so glad you liked this...thanks for showing me the words that especially pleased you. Marge--I have said before, it is YOU that is remarkable! |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Martie, Let not darkness shadow anything we have the courage to do. Well written. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Now I KNOW why I fill my birdfeeder, this is a great way of looking at them, I loved this one!! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
hmmmm, with just a moments hesitation and all huh? Wonderfully written my friend and now I expect an e-mail in my mailbox when I get home from work tonight letting me know if you are okay or not. Got it? Good. Hugs my friend. Lots of them |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Martie, excellently crafted poem, this soared to new depths. An intense read, I hope all is well with you. take care. And the tension exploded in my path where I saw your blue eyes filled and erupting and your hair ruffled from doubt and I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold something that you found in desperation that opened the sky where I saw the birds whole and perfect in a flash of clarity "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
a magic that turned them into sky then back to bird and the mountain was the color of the bottom of the ocean when green is almost black and around it I could see the storm coming felt it build as you turned away turned with your needle to stitch the sky to this minute in sweeping threads of pain and my palms were turned sideways resting on a current of air avoiding your desperation And the tension exploded in my path where I saw your blue eyes filled and erupting and your hair ruffled from doubt and I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold something that you found in desperation that opened the sky where I saw the birds whole and perfect in a flash of clarity ================= I wish I had the courage of birds ... I wish I had your clarity .. I wish I wrote like this ... I wish you peace .. found in your poetry... peace found in your moments of clarity. >turned with your needle to stitch the sky to this minute in sweeping threads of pain< what an absolutely genius metaphor ... and its implications are astonishing. it gave me a warm shiver when i read it. what an amazing poem this is ... as it the poet. take care love ya me |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Daniel--sometimes it takes a shadow to find courage. Kathleen--Yes birds are wonderful! Mark--Thanks for the hugs...I am fine, don't worry! Brian--thanks for the great response...sometimes life is a challange. Janet--thank you for your kind words, my friend...made me smile. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, The thread of your needle has sown a golden web and I found it difficult to get out. Every day in every way you get better and better. *L* |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Martie, you do it again and again, this is an amazing write. Still it would be from an amazing person such as yourself. I really love this, I do. Oh and Martie, look after yourself, not only do you deserve to do so, you need to do so. Take care Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow, Martie, your words and images are phenomenal. You just keep perfecting your craft and each poem by you is better and more captivating. I'm printing out a copy for myself to keep, I really enjoyed this piece, you should be very proud of your talent to pen poetry and tell an amazing story Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Another fabulous piece, Martie! Denise |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie- WOW! what can i say...i love this. such a wonderful write "and when you turned i wrote your wisdon on my truth To get out of the dark takes a flash of insight and the courage of birds." you are truely an incredible poet. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
A wonderful, deep poem, strongly worded and woven with delicacy. You have painted powerful emotions with the colored brushes of your exceptional imagery. All the lines the others pointed out, are also the ones which grabbed me most. Especially the ones "and my palms were turned sideways resting on a current of air avoiding your desperation", and " I watched you hold yourself together with the smallest thread of gold". Your gift is a rare one, my friend. [This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 10-22-2000).] |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Darn, Bill got all the good lines..... Does anybody know when he sleeps..? Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am. To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight. -Marge Tindal |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy--I've got some sissors that cut that thread, snip...just cause you're so nice! Marsha--I'm so glad you liked this...and thanks for your concern and e mail...I do look out after myself..I'm fine really...life can just be challanging at times...ya know? Melissa--thanks for your kind words...and printing a copy...I'm flattered. Denise--thanks for the fabulous! Vicky--you said alot with a wow and incredible...I'm so pleased you liked this. Rosemary--thanks for your friendship! Hi lucky--he never sleeps and that's okay...cause I know what you mean. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This was incredible Martie! I read it so fast, I had to go back and start all over again just to force myself to slow down. Your words just came across with such impact ... wonderful imagery and flow in this, simply beautiful writing! Best wishes, /Kit |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Martie,...you and your words here,...perfectly poetic. You take me places. I enjoy. Thank you for sharing this. Take care M. *Peace. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh Martie...I saw that mountain so clearly...and those birds, wheeling... wow description lady - you've so done it again... hugs K "He looked across the silky surface of the Severn... it was a famously difficult river with fierce tides..." From Jack Maggs |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Martie, the courage of birds pales beside your own. You are quite a lady.... |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Martie you are a total master/mistress (?) of imagery y'know. i love birds so i'm biassed towards this but in any event the closure was just beautiful. thanks yet again philip |
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Robert Joseph Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491South Carolina |
Martie, I enjoyed the ''frenzied'' sense of arrival to the light...great read! Robert Joseph |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You are an incredible woman...and it shows in your poetry |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--Thank you for all the nice things you say in this reply...I appreciate it greatly. Thank you spit fire..and peace to you too. Kamla--I'm glad you liked the description..it was wonderful to see. Balladeer--You say the nicest things. Philp--I'm glad you liked the closure and the imagery..they are both important to me, as is your opinion. Robert--I enjoy the unique way you reply...thanks. Paula--What a wonderful thing to say...thank you so much. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
"where they would turn one way then another one side white the other gray a magic that turned them into sky then back to bird" I love your descriptions, Martie... your words paint a picture... inviting the reader to watch as your discerning heart finds and shares wisdom. |
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