Open Poetry #10 |
A Less Than Perfect Fall Day |
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
A Less Than Perfect Fall Day The sun isn't shining There are no fluffy white clouds in the blue It's not a day you'd call brisk A light rain falls From an overcast sky Colored leaves are few My street, soon to be awash With yellow waves of maple Leaves skittering down the avenue Is still but a row of green trees Highlighted with some deep crimson Yet it somehow seems fitting You're not here I lack your hand to hold My fingers grow numb The absence of your voice Plays like rock at a Mettalica concert My ears should be hearing you Soft on my drums like Debussy Melodic as Mozart Stimulating as Shostakovitch My eyes water from the strain Of trying to see your smile And my leg twitches Wanting to walk with you My lips parched Longing for the moisture Of your kiss And all I can smell Is the exhaust of passing cars Truly - a less than perfect Fall Day ~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning. ~ Billy Wilder |
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© Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Truly a beautiful poem Wilfred enjoyed it muchly. Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Poet's Sister Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 80North Carolina |
Less Than Perfect Fall Day = Nearly Perfect Poem! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Now THIS is romantic writing. A season's just a season without a reason..... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Less than perfect day, but another perfect piece of writing you present Wilfred. Well done Bill. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bill--Yup--when you're with someone special then everything is beautiful, and when you're missing them, all seems gray...you've expressed this well! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
A very befitting poem on such a dreary day. Well done Wilfred. *s* |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
A less than perfect fall day truly painted with a perfect brush! Corinne |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mr. Yeats...does my return to the Forums erase the sadness of this fall day? and if that gave you a chuckle, then I did my job... and your poem is...wonderful Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Maree- TY - (adopting JM's shorthand~G~) I really appreciate your response Poet's Sister- TY- I hope I never achieve perfection - I'll have nothing to strive for - thanks again~S~ 'deer TY -you're too kind - but I love it ~S~ Gentle Spirit- TY -Why do I have the feeling I know you? Thank you so much Martie- TY it was a gray day in reality as well - but it only takes a day's absense - to create the feeling Gentle Spirit- TY again - I am twice blessed ~S~ Corinne- I'm getting the message -many of my readers are sending me a message about the type of poems they prefer ~G~ -I'll try and keep this brush clean and soft~G~ Karilea- TY - yes! you were truly missed - and even if it is only indoors - it is sunshine here now ~S~ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I can only say its not as beautiful here...without my special someone...and you said it so much better than I ever could |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I've had some days like this Wilfred...I hope the days become perfect, for you, and for me too. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Paula - Passing Shadows - It was really a glum day when I wrote this - the absense of my loved one only exacerbated it. Thank you - I too pray for change |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Well Bill, hay I see you've got some taste. I think I'll go put on some Mozart right now. And yes Bill, it's a good good write. dale Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am. To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight. -Marge Tindal |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Ouch Well, it sure sounded less than perfect...well described. Elizabeth Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near... hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wilfred you have expressed your emotions well..James |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Dale- yep - Mozart, Bach, Satie, Pachobel - WCHandy - LeGrande and Weill - to name a few~G~ Thanks Elizabeth- It only hurts when I laugh thanks JML- Thank you - I try~S~ |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh Wil sadly your emotions penned ~HUGS~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You've described it perfectly. Very well written and very touching. Denise |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Tracie- all poets have sad moments - -I'll bet you do too ~S~ thank you Denise- I'm glad you found value - thank you |
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