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Open Poetry #10
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You came into my life..
| Open Poetry #10 |
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You came into my life.. |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
You came into my world Like a nocturnal dream Willing to be my pawn With the innocence of a young fawn Stealthily, right from the start I soothed your broken heart With words as sweet sounding As the wind going through a set of chimes I made you mine After I got you to do my bidding I stripped you of your courage and dignity I worked your body and your mind Like a clock works a pendulum I told you could have your freedom You looked at me through tear filled eyes And asked why? Here is my epitaph May it forever stay on your mind I am the guy your mother warned you about |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
 das not good. i mean its a great poem jus not bout sumthin good. you know what i mean right? i hope so. |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
I think you are off the track. Good words, wrong intentions |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Allan~ Hmmmmmm ! 'I soothed your broken heart With words as sweet sounding As the wind going through a set of chimes' ^That's pretty. 'After I got you to do my bidding I stripped you of your courage and dignity' ^That's not so nice ... but sometimes true. 'Here is my epitaph May it forever stay on your mind I am the guy your mother warned you about' ^Sounds like someone's gonna be pushing-up-daisies for a long time. Interesting layer of phrases. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Just_another_fe..thank you ..yes I do understand what you are saying Daniel.. I am on track with what I wanted to say. It is easy for someone to play with anothers heart and then just leave. Marge...thank you for your kind words..I tried to go in different directions with this. Just to make you wonder |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
I have seen this...known this...and you described it perfectly...I almost want to post it somewhere anonymously but that wouldn't be right..I know it would get a lot of people wondering... Maureen * I was in the perfect mood to read this today...  which means not[This message has been edited by MMoonchild (edited 10-11-2000).] |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Moonchild....I am sorry if I pulled the wrong strings. I was in a dark mood last night when I wrote this. Kind of turned how I was feeling around. I have had a lot of different responses from it. Thank you for reading it and replying |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
sounds like you struck a few cords here, but me i'm keeping on with smooth sailing on the good ship lolly pop lol. But thanks for your boldness here, hehe |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Rosebud....everyone get bold once in awhile. I wrote it from pure fiction. Thank you for your comments |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Found this found it fit perfectly so I had to respond...unfortunately he guy my momma warned me about is always the one I seemed to find...LOL...dont care what anyone else says I like this...its real and it needs to be said |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
An honest and moving piece. No woman really listens to her mother, unfortunately! "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Alan~ this reminds me of my ex-husband....my parents tried to warn me, but at 20, I knew everything, of course.......this is very real, no one should be upset by it, and I doubt it's a personal reflection. Great writing! -SEA |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Alan, you penned it well PoetFriend... Coco |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I think we've all met this person at one time or another...and perhaps even been this person at one time or another..great thoughts and expression in this Alan~ |
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